25 million years later... ...

A very looooong dream.

2011-12-24T12:32:00.002+08:00

I had a super long dream today... Most dreams will be on a specific event that happened in the dream right? But mine was like alot of events strung together into a story. Maybe it's due to the fact that I was asleep for 14 hours. Cuz I was seriously lack of sleep for the past 2 weeks. Mainly due to the fact that I had to churn out loads of essays and checking on admission stuff.

Well the dream started in my house... This house is a combination of my old and new house lol. Some rooms on the right are from the old house and some rooms are from the new house. My lighting in my study room was spoiled. The weird thing was that I had 3 lights -.- and the main one was spoilt so I asked my dad to check it out since I had to do homework and I was very destracted by the dim light, even though I had a super bright workable desk top light -.- It's rather lame.

Then somehow, a trumpet exists in my room and I started practicing. But even in my dream, I know that I had already quit band. So I brought my trumpet out and got on the bus, intending to return the trumpet to the school since I'm no longer in band. I got off on a super weird stop and had no idea why I wanted to get off there. I was cleaning my trumpet for the entire bus journey and even when I got off, I was cleaning it while sitting down on the bus stop. Then suddenly, I saw my conductor, followed by a few band members and a whole lot of other super random people. I thought that it was really convenient cuz I dun need to travel to sch and could just pass my trumpet to one of the band members. Then very randomly, a friend that I know passed me a $10 note and asked me to pass it to blablabla. blablabla should not have been there at all and it was just so weird and random that he was there. Anyway, I was really happy that I got to talk to blablabla after a long time, even though it's just passing of the money-.- But he disappeard in the crowd and I had to chase after him...

In the end, this turned out to be like a marathon. Everyone were like contestants, including me, even though my main goal was to catch up with blablabla and pass him the money and maybe chat with him LOL. So we all ran up multiple slopes, then we had to go down ALOT of stairs. Since I was really desperate in catching up with blablabla, considering he is no longer anywhere in sight, I slid down the railing of the staircases and overtook alot of people. Of course, many ppl were unhappy with me sliding down cuz it's supposed to be a competition I think. But I didn't care at all cuz my main goal was to get to blablabla. And the dream ended there. With me sliding down staircases and arguing with people who said I am cheating my sliding down and not running down the flights properly... LOL

本音

2011-12-10T21:29:00.002+08:00

涙を止まれない。

どうしてかな？

あたし自分の恋を殺したから？

どうして彼嫌いな言葉を話してだろう？

馬鹿でしょ。。。

あたし何時もうそうなの。

いつもう大好きな男に嫌いわれちゃう。

今度わもう二回ですよ。

私たちもう会えないほうがいいよね？

たぶんもう永遠に会えないかもしれないんだ。

さよなら！あたし好きな人！

あたしわ嘘をついたのわほんとにごめんなさい。

君頭がいいから、すぐにばれちゃった。

あたしほんとの事いうのわ怖かった。

でも君わもう真実わ知ってるでしょ。。。

だからあの質問を聞きました。

馬鹿なあたし君のトリック問題に落ち込んだ。

しょがないな。もう時間を戻らない。

だからもう終わり。

lost.

2011-09-24T21:25:00.002+08:00

Many things happened recently. Currently, I don't know how I should react/ what I should feel.

I am considering things that would normally have been decided without any hesitation by me.

Annoying. I think some of the things I'm contemplating are rather ridiculous. One of them is whether I should take JLPT N1. LOL. With common sense, I would've never ever even asked myself such a presumably redundant question. But after I've passed N2, I started to have such thoughts! ARGH! What should I do? :( N2 was like a confidence booster. Even though I was rather sure I can pass after taking the test, having actually passed such a thing, it leaves me hungry and even more ambitious. HA! Of course, now only around 30% of my thoughts are saying I should give N1 a shot. Even if I were to take, it will be next year July cuz I really do think it will require some SERIOUS studying to pass (unlike previous tests, which somehow somehow turned out fine. hahaha).

Another annoying thing will be exam results. To say the truth, my mid year results were not bad. But this time, even though I think certain tests are rather well done, I can never be certain how the results will turn out to be. LOL. Sometimes, when I think I'll get blabla grades, it may turn out to be unexpectedly high. But more often than not, haha when I expect myself to get a rather nice grade, it will turn out to be mediocre. Sometimes the actual thing just falls short cuz there may be unforeseeable stupid careless mistakes; misinterpretation of question, or weird brain signals that day. So I totally don't know what to expect when I get back every result next week.

I have been studying for SAT, math and chem these days. But most of the time, I will still be watching Chinese period dramas at home! :D OMG some of the new ones are sooo nice! Now i'm completely in love with chinese period dramas!

BTW I got a hair cut today! Finally! After what seemed like half a year? BOO I was really busy! It was a miracle how I survived the Sep holidays cuz of soooo many things -.- But right now I have rather little commitments so that's great! I think I will go take KLPT in October next year:) and I will start to look for colleges right now and think about essays! :)

There was this period, around June to September?, where most of my friends were super 'awww' to me! LOL Like super super sweeeeet! With the little things they do and the things that they say! HEE! It made me super touched during that period! Of course, it also made me realise my inadequacies of being equally sweet so I'm trying to be ultra super sweet as well! hahaha but the trend has died down a little recently. I guess most of them are rather stressed. Well, I have nothing more to say:) bye!

I shall forever be calm, composed and cool!

2011-07-16T21:35:00.003+08:00

I thought I grew up! :(

I should be more mature now and think of what to do!

ARGH! I lost my direction in life again :(

But I guess it's a good thing. Cuz the original aim is pretty much morally screwed(?)

Now I am having a really really hard time thinking of what I wanna be!!!

Initially I thought money was all that I need. But the idea's changed! :(

I don't know anything now.

I don't really wanna be anything in particular cuz I have so many different dream/ aspirations; whatever.

I think I should really close this window right now and go do MATH!!!

I think some of the people I know are abit cold now. haha I think it's exam stress.

Anyway, the conference is over. :(

Whenever certain events which I actively participated in are over, I will feel extremely ... she3 bu4 de2! hahaha! Cuz even though I made loads of friends and what not, we're most probably never gonna really contact each other, or for that matter, never see each other again :/

It's always such abrupt ending at the most fragile of times.

Another Mr. A

2011-07-11T20:42:00.002+08:00

Hey~ My jaw just dropped onto the floor.

I AM REALLY VERY TIRED NOW T.T AND AT THE SAME TIME FEELING REALLY IMPRESSED BY MYSELF(LOL JK) AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE I KNOW.

People are soooo incredible!

Sorry for always saying such random stuff without giving any context whatsoever cuz it's not fang1 bian4.

Anyway I got back my GP paper today!! :D HAHAHAHA Normally I do the worst for paper 2 but I got an A today!!! YAY!!!! And I never ever got so high for GP's AQ before!! I love myself! LOL

I have alot more very inspiring people added to my life right now. I guess many of them are gonna be marked as good role models for myself to strive for. They are awesome. I am drained. I really need to sleep.

bye~~ time to take ......

Repenting... ?

2011-07-09T23:19:00.002+08:00

This post shall be on jealousy.

It's such a major devil's chess piece in my life.

You know, most people have an angel and a devil residing inside them... or at least figuratively.

If you were to give each form of wrath and each form of grace a respective angel or devil chess piece as a mere representation, then my jealous 'devil' chess piece will be the biggest and most powerful one. (But it's power is sort of on the decline now cuz I try to cut off all such frustrating and manipulating emotions and feelings.)

In the past, when I got jealous, the huge "devil" side will take ultimate control of my mind and I will do really horrible/ mean stuff. Sometimes I live by the "principle" of not allowing others to have what I do not. I confessed to my mum (lol) recently about one of the awful things (back in those younger years wts) I did out of jealousy. And I guess she was rather flabbergasted with what I did at such a young age... When I still appeared all innocent and naive. :/ But all's well. I am no longer like that. But it still constantly bugs me and I really can't imagine how powerful such an emotion is.

Lately, I am just trying to appear heartless most of the time. I will make really snide remarks about stuff. Cuz I don't wanna appear all empathizing and emotional. I wanna be a robot! :D At least robots are programmed to do something. Not like the aimless zombie (which may better off be dead. Or it's already dead to begin with). Now I am really ren-ing. Just like what she told me to.

p.s. I can't find the person I wanna find. haha. deadly.

Gomen!!

2011-07-08T22:42:00.002+08:00

Actually, I rather like this feeling.

Cuz I'm really very very occupied right now. On ALL days including weekends. From sunrise till moon rise. I don't even spend much time at home except on weekday nights. And once I get home, I have to do tons of stuff, open emails and reply stuff, note stuff and blablabla. Which is really keeping me on my toes all the time. And on weekends, I have to go there, go here, go everywhere. Of course this gets taxing... It's been like this for almost a month. But it's really fulfilling! Cuz I'm like so incredibly busy! and productive! rather than rotting my time away~ :)

I believe I will enjoy the entire process.

doushite sukoshi tsu tsu nakunatte shimauno?

My conscience is unclear.

2011-07-04T20:26:00.002+08:00

I dunno why. Why I feel especially apologetic about EVERYTHING (including history) these days. I just feel so bad about everything. Like I'm blaming myself for everything. Just that I don't say it. I feel so horrible. I think that I'm really bad and stuff like that. ARGH so frustrating. I feel so damn guilty and horrible all the time. nvm.

Kyou no jibun ga kirai da

2011-07-03T19:42:00.002+08:00

Hey! I went to take JLPT N2 today!! The guy sitting beside me was flipping his paper really loudy and it's really irritating Cuz the room was super quiet. So whenever he flips the paper, my heart will skip a beat. Grrr!! Then after the paper, when the invigilators were collecting the papers, I randomly glanced over and saw that his question booklet was only at the first few compre passages (which means around 20 questions were left blank. There are altogether 70+ questions if I'm not wrong). So I think he totally couldn't finish the paper. Throughout the entire test, I can feel that he was very nervous and in a desperate rush. So seeing that he couldn't finish, I sort of feel bad for him. But if he can't even seem to handle N2, then why did he not study enough/ pace himself properly or choose to take other lower levels instead? :/

Anyway, I guess he's got the guts to come and take the test and stayed throughout as well. Cuz I saw quite a number of empty seats today which means alot of people backed out the last minute. So how did I do? I couldn't even finish N3 the other time due to bad time management, unclear of instructions; requirements of different sections and didn't bring a watch :/. But I still managed to pass:) So for N2 this time, I totally didn't need to waste time reading instructions and everything and finished the first paper (also the most challenging section for me) on the dot!:D But you know, alot of options are quite similar so I think there may be quite alot of mistakes? who knows... Listening compre was rather easy:) Well, cuz I learnt Jap via dramas and animes plus subtitles... One of the paper 1 compre passage was on what I had been constantly telling some people these days! LOL it was on sth like "if you're unhappy, the key first step to take is to fake a smile".! hahahaha! yay!! and another compre also on topics that I had been thinking! That's why I love Japanese!! we're on the same frequency!! hahaha!!!

So what can I get from the test? The cert? You see... for all the tests/ exams/ events/ blablabla that I attend/ sit for, they are ultimately for some kind of credentials. People will never believe you when you just plainly say "I know Japanese" or "I'm good at the piano". They will only believe you when they see the certs. And apparently, the more certs you have, the more qualified/ incredible you will be perceived to be. Pathetic yeah? haha makes me think of the little prince. But this is just so apparent in today's paper qualification world.

Why don't you want my help...

2011-07-02T20:55:00.002+08:00

I went out running today right after I woke up!! At serangoon park! I even skipped my breakfast! haha! Which is just opposite my house and the Sun was super big!

Then I went Bras Basah to settle my GC problems... And I found that that place has got many treasure as well!! Especially for people who wanna find revision books/ papers and art materials! They've got plenty x) Then I walked in the blazing sun all the way to Bugis Junction there to buy Koi! I saw a number of people I know today! haha but they didn't see me x) I settled my lunch at Thai express! and as I was about to leave, someone randomly asked me if I'm Indonesian! This is the first time someone asked if I'm Indonesian. Cuz although I get asked by REALLY RANDOM strangers all the time about where on earth I'm from, they will normally ask if I'm Jap/ Korean.

Seriously, why are really random strangers so curious about where someone like me is from? hahaha their curiosity is rather amazing. Cuz I will never go up to someone I don't know and ask "are you blablabla". It's so weird? So what if I'm blablabla? How does it concern those strangers? Is it just to satiate their curiosity? Cuz I don't think I'm gonna see them ever again in my life... :/ Not that I mind being asked constantly by really random people... But I just don't understand why do they have the need to really come up to me so randomly to ask? lol

OK I have JLPT tomorrow!! heehee byebye

I am gonna be so busy again... :X

2011-07-01T22:01:00.002+08:00

I am so gonna be dead.

Cuz of the very demanding schedule coming up.

Anyway I think certain people are toooo nice to me! ahhh make me feel very paiseh and sometimes a bit guilty... Cuz.... dunno leh. When they are toooo nice, I will think that I'm not. LOL.

BTW I am again occupied entirely for the weekend T.T I have sooo many places to run to tomorrow. :X

My JLPT is really scheduled on a very very inappropriate day cuz I have alot of things clashing and they are very impt as well T.T

I got back my report slip today and it was bagus! hahaha!

Okee dokee I shall go watch my kaiji now! xP

deadly.

Contention

2011-06-30T16:59:00.002+08:00

Crap. I made sooo many mistakes in today's paper. It's quite screwed. I think my A has flown away from me T.T I am going out again in an hour's time! Tired!!!

How to save a sunken soul

2011-06-28T19:21:00.003+08:00

Certain people are in a hellish predicament right now with no end in sight.

They are in a massively long tunnel with no hint of light.

bangbangbang! They hear the hitman chasing them behind.

No one can save them.

No one can guide them.

No one understands the pain; anxiety and hopelessness they are in.

The future is nothing more than more of such bullshit (they think).

They feel like they can die any moment right now. Either by choice or... ...

Some wanted to treasure their last trace of dignity by making a choice.

No one can help. Truthfully speaking.

For a sunken soul to attain salvation, other souls can do nothing about it.

ONLY the owner of the soul can pull himself out of the darkness.

The most effective way will be to change the environment entirely.

You may call it escapism. But with a hitman behind, what can the defenseless self do?

With massive change and stakes at hand, the soul will be very surprised on how endless the tunnel was imagined to be.

As now the soul is free and happiness is waiting to be.

p.s. I am supposed to study for tmr... But just felt that I should write this... haha

I AM SO TOUCHED!

2011-06-28T16:19:00.002+08:00

I THINK I HAVE REALLY AWESOME FRIENDS!! (sometimes I think I'm not deserving to have such awesome and great great friends around me xP)

Only 2 more papers left! The first 2 were sort of a breeze... HAHAHA! Expected alot more challenging stuff but in the end it was hahahahaha! In the middle of the paper today, I was suddenly SUPER excited cuz I felt like I'm gonna nail this paper! LOL and was super hyper for a while xP But after handing in, I realised some careless mistakes and misreading of question T.T Oh well... They are just minor marks so I think it's gonna be OK :D But I hope the marks wun make my hopes suddenly sink into the bottomless pit! I heard the last paper is gonna be rather manageable and I'm not really worried for tomorrow either~! So life rocks right now! BTW I think I'm super lucky!! Cuz some of the concepts which I didn't really revise/ sure of wasn't tested at all today!! hahahahaha!

I went to get my new specs today! :) The frame is marc by marc jacobs and I bought it at half price!! :D I really really wanted to get the Dolce and Gabbana one though cuz it's my favourite brand!! But my parents said I should wear proper specs in school... :/ So oh well...

Jya! My JLPT is on SUNDAY!!! FML!! LOLOL!!! AHHHHH!!!

Oh how I hate going to Jurong.

2011-06-26T20:54:00.002+08:00

HANG IN THERE!! Just a bit more and I can escape to Neverland and never need to come back ever again~! ahhh!! hahahahaha I found out that I've recently got a new found interest in Math... I love solving lots and lots of problems!! xP BTW it's not meant to be sarcastic cuz it's actually TRUE!! LOL When you get the hang of it, you will start to love it all over again!

WOOHOO

2011-06-21T22:09:00.002+08:00

Went out to eat brunch at cafe cartel today! alone! Actually I always eat brunch and whatever alone in restaurants -.- I think I talked about this issue with quite a number of ppl... Cuz I think most of my friends are really curious why I dun feel weird eating alone in restaurants! haha! It takes alot of getting used to... Initially you will definitely feel super self conscious and weird right? So you will hesitate stepping into a restaurant... and maybe even willing to be hungry or just take the food back home to eat. But after you keep doing it, it just happens really naturally. And you will see tons of other individuals asking for "table for one" just like you :) If you feel bored or lonely I guess you can try to be rather courageous and go up to random strangers and sit with them? LOL Such things only happened to me once x)

The staff, an old uncle, was really nice to me!! hahaha!! He gave me free bread even though I didn't order the set... He even asked if I wanted another serving xP And my portion of ribs was ginormous!! Then he told me not to worry about not finishing it cuz he can put it into a container for me to bring home :) aww. So I carried the unfinished ribs from Serangoon to Bishan then back to my house... It travelled with me for 6 hours xP

I took the wrong bus at Bishan today!!! :( My eyes are failing me!!! :((( Cuz I read the 58 bus as 88 :((( and I thought the bus driver took the wrong path!! LOL

BTW I found out that there's ALOT of French people staying in my block... hahaha it's so interesting!! Like listening to the way they speak French... ahhh so cool!! I think next year there will be a huge increase in Americans at my place... Cuz of the American international school that's gonna open soon... I've got an American neighbour (not on the same floor) who keeps borrowing stuff from my house. LOL there was this once they borrowed a pot from my house and when they returned it, my mum and I were both super shocked that the inside turned from a dull metal to SUPER SHINY reflective metal!! LOL they are really nice people to have polished it so nicely x) The before and after are just sooooo contrasting!!! :O

I think my interest in Japan and Japanese is very obvious... hahaha but there's actually a country which I'm more interested in than Japan... I think it's rather easy to guess? It's none other than Germany!!! ahhhh!! The land of talents/ geniuses/ prodigies/ great great artistic and science innovations!!! wahhhhhh~!!!

BYEBYE

I am so secretly happy about sth xD that's gonna happen...

2011-06-21T00:40:00.004+08:00

I dreamt of HARRY POTTER THIS MORNING!!! Not the guy but other characters like Hermoine and another girl... Can't remember her name... The blond girl? who's married to one of the Weasleys and in that girls wizarding sch? Who took part in the Triwizard Tournament? lol Anyway, they were in my living room and there's like this HUGE beetle, the size of a human, which landed on my balcony!! ahhh! And of course I'm a mere muggle... But I sort of remember having a wand in my store room and I have inert magical powers as well xP HAHAHA Wahhh the beetle is super shiny, brown and disgustingly huge!! Then more beetles soon landed on my balcony as well and I saw the others waving their wands at them but it's got no effect! Cuz at the back of my mind, I know that it's like my destiny to grab my wand and kill them!! hahaha! Shortly after, I woke up and found out that it's already noon!! BTW, there was this amazingly breathtaking lake in front of my house in the dream!! The colours are sooo vivid!! The lake's colour if super beautiful and it's surrounded by trees... It just felt super magical and it's very harry potter movie-like. hahaha

There's like this super super nice drama!! namae wo nakue shita magami!! wahhhh it's sooo exciting!! Actually I HARDLY watch any more jap dramas now cuz I can't find fresh plots (you know... I'm rather familiar with all the diff sorts of J dramas so there's like a huge stomach to fill? haha)! I think sekai dai ni ban kawaii na hito will appreciate this drama xP Cuz it's more towards human... And much more exciting than human and dramas like 大切なことはすべて君が教えてくれた. WTH everytime when I wanna type the title, the nagai-ness turns me off -.- So I just copy and paste...

I sort of really identify with the 'bad' characters in dramas now xP Cuz I think I might do or feel the same way as well... Even though I might not go to such extremes but the implicit thoughts will be similar xP AHHHH DOUSHIYO???

sekai dai ni ban kawaii na hito gaman shite ne~!!!! ATASHI TACHI NARA ZETTAI NI DEKIRU DAYO!!! <3

So anyway, the harassment has ceased. So I really know that person, huh?...

You sound like some psycho.

2011-06-17T21:29:00.002+08:00

I have no idea who that person is at all. Maybe it's not arbitrary. Maybe someone made her do that while sharing the joy of the fruit (sounds like multi party entertainment shit). Who the hell knows. Entertaining yeah? If it is set up and if the perpetrator so happen to read this as well(which means we may be somehow related), then I'm saying here that I will file a police report if it continues or gets overboard. _|_

So what's my motive?

2011-06-15T00:29:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when you do certain things, people don't get it. So being the you that you are who's always too tired to explain any bullshit, you just do it your way, sometimes in secret. Actually, most of the time.

Every passing day, I just keep thinking about these people. Seriously, I don't live a single day without thinking about them! No... Don't think that I'm missing them or any of that crap cuz it's impossible and I'm just totally relieved they're basically out of my life now... kinda. Can I make a confession? But it's been so damn obvious and explicit already (just look at some of the titles of the blog posts -.- and it's so damn CLEAR what the hell am I thinking about almost every single second (when I don't have sth to distract my attention)... It's becoming abit crazy... how obsessed I am with such thoughts. MAYBE that's one of the main purpose why I wanna earn loads of money later on... So that everything can be abit fair. you know, karma? repercussions? Newton's third law? ;)).

BTW, it is just so absolutely DISGUSTING how someone can be sooo sweet and nice to you when they need you and be so dismissive when they don't. yuck.

ANYWAY, I think I still have that humane and sympathetic good side of me! :) Everytime when I pass by the shabu shabu restaurant, I will see the back door open, with the people washing dishes in that pathetic small room that looks horrible inside... I will always feel sad and sorry for the people washing the dishes :/ I will start thinking stuff like "if only no one had to do such jobs, or if everything had money..." Which is of course overly Utopian... haiz. nvm.

Jealousss

2011-06-11T20:31:00.002+08:00

I woke up really really late today cuz there was like a thunderstorm? and they sky was dark yellow so I had no motivation/ incentive to wake up that early (especially when I've had little sleep for the past 3 days cuz I had to wake early for YES).

I went out to nex -.- and bought lots and lots of books home!! :D HAPPY~~ I always feel happy when I buy stuff... Even if I don't use them. Anyway, they say consumers can only see their NEEDS. They can't really be bothered to think about REAL needs and perceived needs. whatever. Then something really really really funny happened at nex!! HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG I CAN'T CONTROL MY LAUGHTER. So I escaped to somewhere else (which was Popular) to continue laughing! LOL I bet the people thought I was crazy cuz I was laughing off like a lunatic so I held my phone and pretend to laugh while conversing with someone else on the phone. I shall not go into the details of what happened. Anyway I thought such a scenario will only happen in those comedy films or sth!

I will be camping at Bishan tmr... LOL gonna be there from 8am till 6pm -.-

BYEBYE

Why am I jealous? Cuz I saw a picture! :3

Clarke Quay is like my new wonderland

2011-06-09T17:03:00.003+08:00

Hey! So today I dropped off at Clarke Quay and walked around before going home. AHHH Then I found this amazing shop that is like a japanese book cafe! It's totally run like a japanese store(with all directions and instructions and most book/ movies/ DVDs/ games in japanese)! and the staffs are ALL japanese!! HEEHEE super ureshii! omg I sound like a japanese crazy girl -.-

There are shelves of hard cover Japanese books that are only $5!! and there are other shelves which sell soft cover books at $3!! I thought I misunderstood the meaning you know?? cuz where on earth do they sell hard cover jap books THIS CHEAP?? woahhh totally LOVE!!

BUT I dun dare to reply the staffs in Japanese! cuz I was at a corner browsing through some jap books then I was sort of a jyama and they are all so polite when they had to go around me xP AHHH Can't stand it!! They use formal speech and I will always neglect formal terms subconsciously :( So I just dun speak altogether xP Cuz it's better to be mute than rude I guess... Haiz... I'm like that for both Korean and Jap. :(

So I guess it's rather apparent from this post about my love for Japanese...? sounds so weird xP

Whenever I see Japanese near me or hear them converse or converse with them, I will always be super excited! LOL! I have NO IDEA WHY?!!!

And I love Clarke Quay cuz it's so not Singapore-like. xP There are sooo many foreigners and loads of Japs too! Plus soooo many nice shops!! :) Then at night it just turn into another brand new world! LOL So happy that it's near my house!

byebye!!

Conclusions of lessons learnt:

1. NETWORKING AND CONNECTIONS ARE GOD DAMN IMPORTANT

2. NEVER EVER (SERIOUSLY) PUT YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET ESPECIALLY IN INVESTMENTS AND VENTURES.

3. Don't be motivated solely by bling blings.

4. NEVER EVER EVER EVER TRUST ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF (or maybe someone who did a blood oath with you LOL just kidding~)

5.Have visions!

6. Singapore is a wonderful wonderful place to live in... IF YOU HAVE THE MONEY (LOADS OF IT) :)

7. LOVE YOURSELF and detach ALL EMOTIONS (including considerations for your own feelings)

I AM SO BORED!!

2011-06-04T19:17:00.002+08:00

I AM SO BORED RIGHT NOW I CAN DIE!

I am watching the late show with david letterman now... Cuz I'm so bored...

ahhh... I hate buying shoes!! It is so ma fan! :( Whenever you ask the sales staff to get this size, that size to try on, wouldn't you feel very paiseh if you end up not buying in the end? So it's abit uncomfortable... And I always have a hard time buying shoes.

BTW I bought loads of stuff cuz of GSS LOL :D SO HAPPY~

I know I will not be bored tmr cuz I dun even have time to breathe tmr! hahaha! Just kidding! I think I only travel to 2 places during this holiday -.- Bishan and serangoon :)

heehee byebye~

My two hundred and one post

2011-06-02T00:04:00.002+08:00

OMG I TOTALLY LOVE BAKA ANIMES NOW!! Cuz they are so funny!! xP HAHAHA

TOTALLY BAKA ANIMES INCLUDE:

Nichijou

Yondemasu yo, Azazel-san

Level E

Hyougemono

Gintama

They are all so totally stupid and random and cute!! hahaha! Super funny xD

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going shopping ALONE! :D Cuz of the GSS and no one asked me out specifically... Like they just tell me they wanna go out with me during the June hols and never arranged anything further. LOL. Anyway, shopping alone is more efficient and enjoyable :) at least I can stay at my favourite nexxx and don't have to meet someone else far away...?

Seriously, I practically go to nexxx every single day -.-

Going to spend whole day there tmr again! Starting with my toast breakfast at the hongkong restaurant :) Then Spinelli~~ And will be ending off with vegetarian dinner at NZ cafe :D

Bwuay!

if you hate me, I will be indifferent; if you are indifferent, I will hate you ;)

EYE

2011-05-30T23:44:00.004+08:00

Hello! I've been really really busy this week even though it's barely begun. And I will only get busier than ever.

So I went to national eye centre today(I spent like 3 hours there :O) cuz of the very weird stuff I've been seeing. I did at least 7 tests on my eyes; for cornea, muscles, pressure and blablabla. So cool and fun! LOL xP There was like this test for pressure (one of the basic tests, I think) and there will be air squirting onto your eyes. So I just keep closing my eye when the air attacks cuz it's abit scary... I mean your eye ball is like directly infront of the hole and you know that the air is gonna squirt out leh! So of course my natural reflexes did their job well. LOL so in the end I had to do alot more times :( So scary LOL

Oh BTW all the doctors and nurses are very very nice :)

All the tests are so cool and fun! There was this test where they put anesthesia(which stained the area of my eyes yellow :P) into my eyes and put a metal instrument onto my cornea! wow! Then they also put mirror onto my eye ball? haha dunno the specifics. There was this doctor who said my pupils are huge before my dilation tests when she was checking my pupils!! hahaha! :D

So one of the tests included adding a dilating solution into my eyes so that my pupils will enlarge for further examination and it was abit painful but very bearable (at least much much more bearable than the time when my facial wash went into my eye while I was washing my face half awake so it instantly jerked me awake! Gosh it's like the most painful solution that went into my eyes ever! cuz I think the product I'm using is quite strong :/). Then after that, I couldn't see things that are close to me xP it was abit irritating :( So when i got out of SGH, the effects were still there and my eyes hurt when there's a significant amount of light.:( I had to take public transport home :( So there was alot of Sun which made my eyes feel horrible. I saw people staring at me weirdly cuz I was squinting like mad :)

When I got home, I just fell right asleep cuz I was so tired. and my eyes were so tired from all the test and sunlight :( I woke up at 4pm; slacked around and went out again till 10pm. Tmr's gonna be another very packed day for me! ahhh! But life like this is fulfilling :)

Heyheyhey

2011-05-28T15:41:00.004+08:00

I've made a new record by waking up naturally at 7.45am today! x)

I lagged around in the house till about 9.30 before heading out to hunt for breakfast (at nexxx).

Then I went to Spinelli and studied till 1pm before coming back home to relax~ BTW I'm going out later for piano lesson again. :/

This week was rather hectic cuz I had a really really hard time sleeping (again)... I was thinking about my GP test the entire time and finally got it over and done with yesterday. I read alot of stuff you know~ In preparation for it... But I hardly used any of the facts I read... I only used the ideas and phrases :/ Oh well... the essay I wrote wasn't very factual so I wonder how I will fair... Then i didn't finish my AQ! cuz I was rather drained by the time I got to the 2nd paper. But I don't think the marks will be greatly affected... So I guess it's OK.

I have got my whole holiday sort of planned out and I've got something on almost every single day! :O Gonna be so busy! Sometimes I sort of forget what I have on certain days! xP

Anyway, I have to go national eye centre on Monday! cuz my eye's been acting funny recently :/ Hope it's nothing too serious and can get fixed :)

I borrowed so many many books from the library!! and some of them are overdue :P I read 'hard truths' by LKY before the GP test! haha! and I managed to devour the book pretty quickly cuz it was rather interesting. Is it weird that I found it interesting?

I have so many things to do and complete this June holidays!! Hope everyone has a great time! <3

lookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatmelookatme!:(

Curiosity kills the cat.

2011-05-23T17:55:00.002+08:00

Had been reading on secret societies again. And the more I read, the more uncomfortable I get. Sure enough, many of the theories/ conspiracies out there about Freemasons and Illuminati may not be true. But if they are, then this world is really in a terrible state.

You know... Stuff like how there will soon be a new world order; how everything can be associated with propaganda and how so many elites/ people with very great power/ influence are connected or are members of the Freemasons/ Illuminati.

Occult symbolisms/ messages are so prevalent that they are of no surprise. Sometimes they are just so damn obvious. But it just scares you when you find that the world is gonna be ruled under one world government... doesn't it? Power and control are words that are so often repeated and emphasised over and over again. Even now, it is clear how so little corporations are actually dominating the entire market with its sub labels/ brands that gives people the perception of multi brands competing... -.-

So interesting how this world will turn out to be...

The more I think about myself, the more screwed I think my perception is. 'Cuz I hardly believe in anything anymore... nvm. Sometimes it's easier to ignore everyone around you and just be numb entirely. It makes me sick when I think about other people. I get bored of the water so easily and entirely.

:D:D:D

2011-05-17T18:03:00.002+08:00

It's soooo incredible!! Cuz I think I'm gonna meet someone AGAIN!! HAHAHA!! I never thought we will meet ever again after that! :D OMG I'M SUPER EXCITED!!!

AND I'M SOO HAPPY NOW!! GOSH!!! I think I have everything planned out at the moment.

Some things are so scheming. :P

BLEHHHH HAPPINESS IS A ZERO SUM EQUATION.

I lack something

2011-05-10T21:38:00.002+08:00

Tyranny.

Initially, I'm almost tempted to write a huge exposé on a certain aspect of my character.

But I had self control and resisted the awful temptation to reveal anything too personal. LOL.

I shall wait till another bigger event that can set me off burning with fury.

Anyway, the most draining week is finally over!

I'm a person who relies (or needs) instant gratification. I need sudden triggers to set off random passion to do something. Previously I used it all on leisure and now I'm actually wanting to study- abit desperately, even.

I hope I can stop waking up randomly in the middle of the night!

Going to try to sleep now. Goodnight! <3

Sometimes, I feel like...

2011-05-08T22:28:00.005+08:00

So tomorrow's another big day huh?

Anyway, I just drank like a bottle of something 2 hours ago which is supposed to be sleep inducing, but I still don't feel sleepy! wth.

I have nightmares every single night when I fall into deep sleep. Just today, the nightmare was super gruesome and gross :( For a moment I thought it was real. Cuz when you're like half asleep and half awake near the end, you can't really differentiate reality, can you?

The elections are over. I went to sleep at 12am cuz I knew that the results will not be out so soon looking at how the TV is delaying time and stuff. But anyway, since yahoo news and temasek review's insider info had already announced the results of important places a few hours before the TV did, I just went to sleep -.- Can't believe that the results were released so late on TV; glad that I didn't wait till that late.

Seriously, I think individuals, instead of groups should be contesting for each constituency (not considering SMCs). Cuz for every group elected for each constituency, there sure exist less competent candidates. It was so heart wrenching seeing certain very respectable and dedicated candidates eliminated. :(

Anyway, I'm gonna try to sleep now. Bye.

Assuming there really are aliens;

If aliens were to know about humans, they might not get the insanity.

How we can destroy out environment so thoughtlessly, how we love to destroy the balance of life and how we love to destroy ourselves too. funny.

Then again, you'd hope that aliens never get to know us. Cuz I guess most of us are xenophobic and if things don't work out, wouldn't there be inter planetary(or maybe galaxy) war? Maybe Avatar may become reality. Who's to say?

Crash and burn

2011-05-05T19:04:00.003+08:00

Gosh I finally managed to survive this week!! arhhhhh super tired!!! JUST 4 more days and everything will be over~~!!

My adrenaline was all drained after all the major stuff today. So fatigue just struck like that. Had to drag my body all the way home. :P I just have to do one more essay and I can rest peacefully!

Why am I so addicted to Jay Chou's song right now?? I can't concentrate on my work! LOLOL! I haven't listened to his songs for so long~

Sickest joke ever...

2011-05-01T23:02:00.002+08:00

This one is really random. Cuz I've been thinking about the past and I randomly remembered this incident (maybe cuz I was tricked during April fools' and so started remembering all jokes ever been played on me, including the most awful ones).

I think I was in primary one? (I can't remember the details exactly cuz it's been 10 freaking years) And it was a day of celebration (I can't remember what occasion it was exactly... Maybe it was national day? But I distinctly remembered that it was a half day and we were released in the morning... Before the afternoon sun set us ablaze). I was walking on this pavement toward block 608 (where I used to live... loads of fond fond memories... At least until adolescence) with other fellow school-mates.

THEN, this girl (who looks like a bitch, you know, the kind of girl whom every girl hates just by looking at her face? presumably, my classmate :O) came up to me and told me that she just saw my mum being knocked down by a car when she was walking to school. That stupid bitch just won't shut the fuck up when I said I am not convinced and she just had to keep talking and describe the whole scenario of how my mum got knocked over by the car and all that bull shit. She kept drilling the message into me and she just kept going on and on. And her toad-like looking friends who are just as brainless as she is, chorused after her about how it's god damn true and how they saw the whole incident as well. I would've slapped them all and maybe punched them in the face if it was the me now. But the gullible, defenseless me was finally being half convinced and ran all the way home crying. Till I saw my mum alright in the house. That bitch is such a motherfking tramp right? Who the fuck will pull such an awful joke on people?

I still remember her name. Actually I finally remembered her name after days of trying to recall what the hell it was. It's Joleen. I think my memory's pretty good cuz I dare say I remember much more things of the past than most people. And I do remember incidents and stuff ppl do which have hurt me in any way and of course, the things I did which hurt others. I bear grudges and I do repent. And I hate people doing stupid things like that. I hate people hurting others without reason. I only know that all the people who's ever hurt me are in pretty bad predicaments right now. Cuz they suck in nature so that's the natural outcome. *rolls eyes*

Sorry for some strong language cuz I feel rather horrible right now.

BYE.

busybusybusy

2011-04-30T16:51:00.002+08:00

I went to the dentist again today! (after CO practice. BTW, I was rather late and it was so paiseh)

And the dentist was like saying so you always come here to drill huh? LOL Cuz he drilled my tooth with cracked filling again today!! And it was more painful than the previous one. But just like the sense of smell, you will also get used to the sense of pain... So it got less painful. Wahhh I feel super sorry cuz I think he's always very stressed with me xP

Anyway, I went on facebook and went to watch Jimmy Wong's vlog and was sooo touched by what he said near the end!! T.T Althought it's nothing new and you listen to it all the time, it never gets old. Such sentiments.

Words

2011-04-26T20:48:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I really say really meaningless things. And I notice alot of people say it too.

I think cuz it's like more acceptable to say rubbish especially with people whom you've got NOTHING to say to? And those words just act as "fillers" of space, of the silence.

In the worst case scenario, you will rattle on and on until you just can't think of anymore things to say! arhhhh!! The horror! LOL Cuz there will be this very sudden awkward silence right after all that talkative nonsense. It is just super weird. Maybe not starting a "conversation" would've been even better than such abrupt ending. Since it just makes the fact that you guys have nothing to say even more distinct. Gosh.

You know, sometimes I will smile so much till I can feel my facial muscles trembling? LOL That can happen after a long long day of constant talking + smiling and it can also happen after a few mins of faking it. It's really quite tiring. BAHHHH. ZZZZZ.

Sometimes I might 'accidentally' listen to the conversation between others and I will start to feel that all the things being said are so くだらない. But often, I am no better.

なんか汚い。。。?

あたし悪いです。

lies and layering

2011-04-24T13:38:00.003+08:00

I slept at 7pm yesterday xP and woke up at 9am. Didn't have really good sleep cuz I kept having nightmares and I just kept waking up in the middle of the night. I can remember one very clearly cuz it felt so real and was so relevant to my life. haha. So nearing the end of the "story", I was like half awake and sort of realised that it's just a dream. Actually I sort of know that it's a dream while dreaming. But it was sooo realistic!! I felt so horrible and devastated throughout the whole thing. haha. It's like a whole bunch of stories linked together and it led to that event. But there was like this sort of "warmth" encapsulated in the cold cuz the people involved were real people I know. So it sort of made me realised how things will turn out to be if blabla happened. The event was scary but nearing the end, it just made me really touched.

So I am alone at home again today. Have to go and get my dinner later (at nexxx :D)! I have to start doing homework now...

There's soo many sequels out lately!! Like Jin2, Boss 2, Kaiji 2 and blablabla and I am sooo happy!! I think there might be a sequal for untouchables as well? Cuz at the last episode, it left off at a cliffhanger.

Level E's ended :( It was so funny!! <3

Paranoia and obsession

2011-04-22T21:49:00.006+08:00

I feel so tired!! Cuz I've been out the entire day!! From 10am till 9pm. Most of the time walking (in high heels). -.- My legs feel like they're gonna break soon. My eyes hurt too. LOL. I'm like so old now -.-

Whenever I come back after the sun sets, I will be super paranoid and think that someone's following me. Especially at the really quiet and not really well-lit road up to my place. I will constantly turn around to check if there's really someone and I'll try to walk as quickly as possible.

So this brings me onto the topic of stalkers. LOL I don't really care about those people who constantly "stalk" or scrutinise someone via facebook/ twitter or whatever(cyberstalking) because I think they are incomparable to people who stalk others physically (in person). I think when someone carries out cyberstalking, it may just mean that that person is interested in knowing more about someone and maybe abit obsessed. But when someone takes an extra measure and greater effort into physically stalking a target, I think the obsession would've escalated to a whole new level. I think the root of stalking is primarily love and desire. Because you can't have that person, your obsession towards that person failed to be satisfied. And people resort to stalking just to fulfill their desires.

I think such stalkers are really frightening cuz their massive obsession and the desire to obtain the target may make them resort to killing. I watched this really random film and the protagonist was like saying how she finally understood why some people want to kill their lover. Cuz when someone loves another so much, they would wanna kill them to make them truly theirs and forever theirs. OK this part sounds abit psychotic :/ Anyway, so I think such stalkers are largely dangerous.

I digressed so far. byebye.

p.s. Finally a post title that is related to the content of the post -.-

p.p.s. Haiz. Whenever I'm looking at clothes in a store, they just keep screaming to me "you're so fat!" lol

p.p.p.s I sometimes do "stalk" people on facebook. Most of the time it's to check if that person is dying. nahh just kidding.

It will never happen again. And I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

2011-04-19T21:27:00.004+08:00

Certain things are just like that. When it's over------ that's it.

Have I become skeptical of people?

Well, certainly I view people in a much different way. haha. Now I am just really convinced that most people don't like me and I don't like most people.

piangpiangpiang it's all over.

She's right. Most of the time, when you've attained it, you wouldn't want it anymore; it just acts as a history; a record of the once were.

Then I've thought about you so many times all over again recently. I started to wonder how everything would've turned out if feelings were laid bare. Maybe nothing would've changed either. All the past just act as lovely reminiscence after a bad dream. I am so glad and thankful of everything that had ever happened.

no more...?

2011-04-15T19:37:00.003+08:00

Today is FRIDAY FINALLY! OH GOD!

Anyway, I've been watching the drama 美人心计 these days. It stars Ruby Lin.

I still think that she looks best in 还珠格格. She looks abit old in 美人心计. Considering that it's more than 10 years since the pearl princess era. haha. Anyway, the new show is super captivating!! And all the mean girls aside, the couples featured are all damn sweet! There was like this scene where Ruby Lin is going back to her own country and she might not come back alive to the king whom she's married to. So when she asked what would the king do if she got killed on the trip to the other country, he said he would flatten the entire city. AWW. But now I'm stuck at this ugly ugly episode which I just can't get over. Cuz this current arc I'm at is about this vicious irritating bitch. grrr.

I've been constantly having the urge to puke for the past few days. And sometimes I will swallow the vomit back cuz I can't puke anywhere. Eww. Damn gross. bleh.

I shouldn't slack right. *yawns*

The letter which I will never open... Till I'm ready.

2011-04-13T20:07:00.003+08:00

I think I have this reliance on a good friend.

Throughout different periods of my life, there's always been a few of these "closer friend/good friend/best friend/better friend (whatever you call it)" around me. And of course I love/ loved/ like/ liked each and everyone of them loads.

BUT somehow, either they slowly start to fade away, or one of us don't seem that important to the other anymore. So the people playing such roles in my life keeps alternating. There's never been a constant. When I thought I had found one (maybe) BFF, somehow I will end up being disappointed. Then I started to find things like BFF really lame and tried to never again be toooo overly close with someone. Even if I'm really close to someone, I tried to not give that person any expectations or wishing that we can become friends forever and all that rubbish. So anyway, predictably, I went against such ideas and had hopes built on sandcastles again. Then I'm watching it slowly crashing down again.

You know, whenever I keep emphasising something doesn't matter, it's cuz of the fact that it really does matter TOO MUCH and I'm trying to make myself lower its significance. When something matter too much to anyone, it will be the most threatening thing to that person as well.

Everyone has conflicting personalities within them. Constant internal struggle. I've never discovered meaning in anything. Cuz life itself is so meaningless and bizarre.

So through.

2011-04-08T20:51:00.002+08:00

Oops. Sort of (just) realised that I sigh ALOT.

Just today, I got 3 people asking me why do I sigh so much! xP

Didn't really notice I do it all the time. It's just that I'm tired. Like tired.

There was this one time when I went for a group interview for sth and when the other interviewee was talking about himself, I sighed (it's like a reflex or sth. LOL.) without really realising. Then the interviewers looked at me and I thought they must have thought that I was very uninterested or not really wanting to get into that thing. xP But in the end I got in anyway so it was OK.

This entire week, I had really really poor quality sleep. First I had sunday night insomnia then subsequently, I will suddenly wake up naturally almost everyday just after like 5 hours of sleep. I think on Tues I woke up at 3am in the morning?? Like wth? Then yesterday I woke up at 4am + and today I woke up at 5am. My alarm only rings at 5.45am!! Grr! It's really frustrating cuz I will be very energetic after waking up (this is really abnormal cuz I normally need 10 hours of sleep) and I have NO IDEA WHY. So it's super hard to me to go back to sleep again. When I'm finally about to fall asleep again, my alarm will start ringing at the most opportune time!

I bought bubble tea today (as usual). So while I was waiting for my queue number, I went into cold storage and saw this tiny crab crackers? It's like those real tiny crabs, fried, seasoned and crispy. First time seeing such things. Blahh I thought it was disgusting. Actually I find all seafood (except fish) disgusting. I think crustaceans like crabs and prawns remind me of cockroaches :P Sorry to seafood lovers. Anyway, the japanese delight immediately reminded me of my mum cuz she loves seafood -.- so I bought it. And she was immensely touched. LOL. It makes me feel so bad. Cuz it just means that I had hardly did such things for her so that's why she was so shocked + touched. xP

Problem

2011-04-05T21:00:00.002+08:00

This will be a really quick post cuz I wanna sleep ASAP. I just can't have enough sleep. And I hate the fact that I suffer from sunday insomnias -.-

I sort of discovered that quite a handful of people can play their instruments, and at the same time, count the beats exactly in their head. But i CAN'T!! ROFLWTF. Is it my problem? Oh Gosh! I am SOO not musically inclined. Not only am I simply out of tune when I sing without reference, I can't keep beats beating in my head while playing. You know? I find it really hard to be playing something (which of course will never be of the noob constant beats) and keep the constant tempo crochet beats counting in my head. BLAHH. I found out that the only way I can somehow keep my tempo up there is by looking at something (often conductor or metronome which I can SEE) or by tapping my feet. Like REAL tapping. If I just wriggle my toes (cuz the tapping's unsightly), I can't get the feeling. :(

I suck in music.

byebye.

one hour of epic pain.

2011-04-02T17:47:00.002+08:00

I just went to the dentist today after CO practice. I was supposed to see him a month ago but I was so sick and all so I only got to see him today. He said that I might have to do root canal AGAIN!! OMG... T.T FML

I think that he's a really nice and pro dentist... lol. So he said that he shall try his best to prevent the worst from happening, which was referring to another root canal treatment. Then the torture begun. He used all those metal instruments and kept digging and digging into my (almost) hollow tooth and I think they came in contact with my nerves so it was freaking painful... It's like pain all the way... He told me that he's very stressed. xP and he scrapped till his hands went numb. ahhh feel so paiseh. I shall take better care of my precious precious teeth from now on.:D

I just thought of something. I just had a sudden epic change in life direction. It's like I've decided on something which I never will think I will choose.

Am I really tired? cuz my ear feels partially deaf and my right eye is seeing dots...

There's plenty of homework to do.

But I shall rest and entertain myself today.

p.s. "friends"--- a very loose term.

Random thoughts

2011-04-01T19:44:00.004+08:00

A lot of Japanese dramas/ selected animes are under the genre of psychological thriller right? I think out of all the different entertainment shows from various countries, Japan has one of the best shows under the psychological/ mystery genre and it also possess a huge variation plus in depth analysis. Some other shows under the same genre from other countries often seem like low quality counterfeits :P

Anyway, after watching so many many dramas/ movies/ animes and what not, it seems like they are all rather pessimistic. Many of them have great emphasis on the ugly nature of humans and how survival instincts will show itself under dire circumstances. You know... I was rather innocent... Or should I say gullible? naive? 'Cuz when I was still a child/ young teenager, I had been massively injected with ideas of human values, kindness, friendliness and blablabla. so when I first encountered such analysis/ projections of survival instincts and how people can lose all "human" sense; love; logic; values and what not; when the circumstances are befitting the idea of "fittest survive", I was like... taken aback? what a noob right -.-

Of course I will not just believe those fictitious dramas etc. I think I first came across the ugly ugly human nature thing via this auto biography of a war survivor. The way he described the whole survival story was horrible. It was barbaric and very real. How one can forget about his family, disown his father, fight for food with frail old men; all in the name of living. It's just purely depicting how people can forget all morals; values etc etc when all they are concerned about is their survival.

But apparently, all such things which define a 'civilised' human will fall apart when the structure of a civilised society is absent/lost. I now think that humans are really selfish, self-indulgent, self centered etc. etc. I think primarily, we were just not "designed" to put anyone before us. Even if sometimes we do act as if someone else is more important, I think it's most of the time hypocrisy. I still remember this certain drama (I can't recall the name... I think it's Liar game?) saying how even when person A apologises to person B, fundamentally, it is just a way of how person A is trying to relieve the guilt/ lingering unpleasant feeling within himself. So when Person B accepts the apology, Person A will feel much better, being rid of all such negative feelings which he possessed during the course of which person B was angry with A. In another words, person A would not have given a damn about person B if A was not bugged by those negative feelings.

Another example... When person A sees a child crying on the streets and goes up to offer him help, person A derives happiness from a public acknowledgement of his kind act as well as his own satisfaction garnered, having full knowledge of the possible fact that the boy is grateful to him and thinks he's awesome for helping and blablabla.

So ultimately, even when people do things which are seemingly for the benefit of others, the people carrying out the act are the real ones deriving happiness/ satisfaction from the things. So it is still for the satisfaction of oneself, for the benefits of self interest.

Gosh this thing is going nowhere.

Since this is supposed to be a really random post, I shall fill it up with random things.

I am going to the dentist tomorrow!

I read a quote a few days ago about how the world is fair cuz it's unfair to everyone. lol. and it totally made me go -.- (I can't recall whose quote it is.)

I detest the Sun cuz it never fails to give me headaches and make me super dizzy :(

I think I've never ever screwed up a test this bad... In case you're wondering, I'm apparently referring to my piano exam yesterday. Anyway, I've signed up for the september test long before the test yesterday so it didn't really matter if I passed. I guess.

15 months ago; I was crazily gulping down cans and cans of liang2 cha2. I think I drank like 4 or 5 cans of liang cha in one go that day. I was just so so so thirsty the day before it all happened. Was I feeling unwell that day? Or was it all that psychological thirst of which I can never seem to quench. I am scared. can't you tell?

Oops. I haven't been to school for so many days

2011-03-30T21:28:00.003+08:00

I went to see the doctor for the same thing for the THIRD time yesterday -.- cuz I finished my medications and I haven't recovered and tomorrow's my BIG DAY.

So the doctor gave me all new medicines since the previous ones were not as effective as he expected it to be. I didn't go to school today again. I've been sick for like 3 weeks already -.- I think it's something like new viruses adding onto old viruses. haha.

Tomorrow will be my dooms day (again)! I think I always referred it to a dooms day. Like a personal one. lol. This is my second piano exam. I really hope I don't die. Oh Gosh. Then after that I will be going bugis to register for JLPT. My piano teacher said there's a slim chance I will pass. ahhh. I wonder.. Oh goshhh I'm like SUPER NERVOUS NOW. It seems like I'm only attending 2 days of school this week :P Cuz I'll be absent again tmr.

byebye.

FML.

2011-03-26T10:16:00.002+08:00

I am super super sick right now -.-

I had fever last Tuesday during the holidays and went to see the doctor. So I was supposedly recovering then I guess due to the lack of sleep and many activities going on this week, i got sicker than ever. I really shouldn't have gone to school yesterday -.- I think it wouldn't have gotten this bad if I stayed at home and slept.

I went to see another doctor yesterday and got lots of meds then went back home and slept. I woke up at like 3.30 am??!! and found out I'm having fever again. -.-and the doctor did not give me anything for fever. Not antibiotics not whatever... Gosh so I was like burning and my head felt like cracking :( It was so horrible :( So I dug out left over antibiotics from long long ago and I only had one pathetic pill :( Anyway I took it and tried going back to sleep again. I was sweating like mad even though the room was sort of cold. It felt so nasty. Then due to the excessive coughing, my body aches like mad.

I have piano exam next thurs and I wonder how am I going to sing -.- fmlfmlfml

I shared water with some of my friends yesterday (cuz I thought I was merely coughing and it shouldn't really be contagious? plus I don't bring water to school cuz of the excessive weight) and I really hope they will not get the bug :( If not, I will feel super guilty.

Anyway this week (after school hours) were not wasted :) It was fun and I learnt stuff. Just that it is really jam packed. Sleeping at 2am and waking up at 5.30am for the entire weekdays is really not sustainable. It just make me feel like crap and it made me sicker. Blaah. I shall rest in peace. Bye bye.

你可以不要再这么幼稚吗？

2011-03-23T20:48:00.002+08:00

我好忙。

怎么办？现在基本上连睡觉的时间都牺牲掉了！！囧

真得好累。不过快要完了！才怪。。。

每当一堆事情结束后，一定会出现另一堆事情做。囧

不过只有这样，我才会有机会离开这个鬼地方。呵呵。开玩笑。

现在要懒一下，等会儿才有精神做那堆功课。

直到这几天我才恍然发现我把他给忘记了。不过现在记起来了。

好像每次都发生同样迷失然后再回想的事。怎么办？因为太习惯了，所以被自己误导，以为自己属于这儿。因为自己跟本不像他一样，不回一直提醒自己因当属于什么地方。

这是一个多么危险的行为。当我习惯时，就在不回有理由回去了。

但自己却无法察觉已自行删除了自己的所有。

我不要没有文化背景，更不要没有归属感。

好累啊！

不过若一切顺利，当然不会后悔任何决定。

因为结果会是自己想要的。

March holiday

2011-03-20T15:58:00.002+08:00

I spent half of my March holiday being sick :( and the other half was spent trying to break my fingers on the piano. -.-

10 more days!! OMG! I am soo freaking out :O

Cuz When I went to try out the piano, I found out that the examiner is gonna sit directly behind me and I can totally see his/her reflection clearly (Thanks to the highly polished, ultra shiny piano)!! :/ I soo need to calm down :/

I feel so horrible right now cuz I'm still sick :/ and it's gonna be a SUPER HECTIC week ahead :/ I think I'm gonna reach home at night (around 10pm) every single day for the week :O

OMG. I haven't memorise my scales!!

BTW, I watched the film 'the bucket list' again!! hohoho!! It's the kind of film which you can watch over and over and over again!!

I had been reading the news more frequently LOL. I found the video by UCLA student Alexandra Wallace rather insensitive and irritating but I think the death threats which forced her to quit school even more horrible. :/ Isn't there this freedom of speech thing in America? Even though her video was a tad patronizing and very very insensitive towards the victims in Japan, I still found death threats to be too much. I bet she didn't know her obscure opinions on a video will get viral in merely a few hours. Sometimes, when people get pissed off by certain things, they will have a tendency to rant right? Or maybe she should've just been more PC :/

Anyway, so I read that some foods are verified contaminated by radiation... I wonder when will all this end. I wonder if the world will end?

Whenever major disasters like these happen, it seems like you never fail to see 'religious messages' on social networks and certain media about possible apocalyptic signs. It seems like humans have this constant obsession about the world coming to an end. 'cuz since long ago, there had been frequent predictions about the end times. But none of it was realised. Up till the 21st century, thanks to the internet, I think it successfully made the December 2012 end time prediction to be the greatest 'hoo-haa' out of all the previous predictions. I first learnt about it 4 years ago cuz I was sick of this life so I went online to find out when the world will end. LOL. I think people liked the date as well cuz it is really really close. I mean, who will bother about the sun dying out in a few billion years? Or how earth's resources may be depleted in a few decades?

Those are seemingly irrelevant dates which are too far away. I used to belief in the predictions, due to the very convincing messages, signs, historical scrolls, calculation, evidences and what not. But I don't really care now. 'cuz it doesn't really matter. I think life should really be lived by the day.

I just read something somewhere (written in chinese) about how it is sad that we can't re-live our lives but it is also a blessing that we can't re-live our lives. haha. Then it reminded me of one of the stories in "twilight zone". Life is about both happiness and suffering. We have to go through both and can't do without either.

Gosh I digressed abit far. But anyway, just in case the world really is coming to an end in 2012, maybe everyone should do everything they've ever wanted before that day. Even if it doesn't end, I think no one will lose anything much :)

I've got to go out and get my own dinner now... Bye! :)

p.s. I've been going to nexxx almost every single day... goshhh

No. It no longer affect me.

2011-03-17T17:52:00.002+08:00

Something a little heavy is going on again.

But I no longer feel anything.

If it was the me in the past, I guess I would've been greatly affected in every possible way.

Now I just feel so numb towards those kinda stuff.

I don't know why. きみのおかげかな？

Must be.

Why is it always the people around me?

Why can't it be "you" for a change?

Why can't you be the one.

WHY CAN'T YOU DISPLACE THEM???!!!

WHY CAN'T YOU *** INSTEAD????!!

世界わ不当ですよね。

I XXXX YOU

2011-03-13T23:35:00.003+08:00

君のこと大嫌いですから、何もう期待するの事もうない。

君なんかの人死んじゃればいいな。。。

あたし君の所為で落ち込んだ。

どうやって償いするの積もりですか?

あたしの事考えいるのか?

あたし毎日眠れの時、悪夢が継続するのよ。

きみわ悪魔だ。。。

神様が裁きをくださないのならば、きみ罰が当たる。

この世界若しきみに優しにしたら、あたし絶対こんな簡単にきみを許さない。

君あたしを壊した。あたしを殺した。

だから、君罪を償いなきゃい。

あの時あたしの幸せを奪った。

きみあたしを棄てた。

どうしてあたし見てないの?

どうしてあたし透明でしたの?

どうしてあたしいないそうにするの?

君を殺したい

2011-03-11T20:18:00.005+08:00

I've just got my hands on "嘘つきみーくんと壊れたまーちゃん" raw novel :D

(It's got furigana as well so I can train my kanji :D)

The "trailer" for it is awesome x)

But the trailer for the movie adaptation is not really nice :/

It's said that the manga is based on the movie, which is based on the light novel.

So I'm kinda glad I didn't buy the manga when I saw it at kinokuniya that day.

I guess the light novel goes a bit deeper into story...

Ahhh I just love Japanese (language)!!! xP

You know, there are just those kinda really nice sentences??!! (Which alot of other languages lack of/ can never be as good/ emotional as Japanese) It's just so beautiful! and I love the sentence structure, even though I suck at it personally -.-

I spent the whole afternoon sleeping/ catching up my sleep today! :D

(since there was no school!!)

Then I only got my brunch at 4pm xP

I'm gonna be totally occupied for 5 whole days, from tmr till Thurs!! :O

It's gonna be a busy busy week! So I am slacking as much as I can afford today!

Yay~~ Gonna continue reading usotsuki novel now ~~

p.s. I feel like watching kokuhaku AGAIN xP

p.p.s. Funny, how some lovers break up and delete their ex from their social networks immediately due to the awkwardness (so stupid -.-) but some friends just won't delete you even though they are really not your friends anymore. =______=

p.p.p.s. Why would someone who insist that he/she is being indifferent towards you, still watch your every single move and waste so much time on you.?

soft in the head

2011-03-09T21:40:00.002+08:00

It's awful to see...

But at least I got to say goodbye. Why's all the good people leaving? :/

Anyway, I felt super sleepy today.

The only thing that makes me have energy again is the thought of tmr~!

heehee last day of school

But I'm gonna be so busy during the holidays with all the xtra xtra stuff.

And it's gonna be over really soon again.

Paragon's so cold and scary LOL so why on earth is my piano exam held there :/

Blahh...

I hope I can pass this time... So that I can move into the hostel ASAP before I start to be late for school again and again due to the lack of determination to get up so damn early in the morning while getting back home so late.

BTW, I talked to blablabla about sthsthsth today and was kinda relieved that xxxx will not affect it at all :D

So everything's still going really smoothly and life is kinda smooth sailing :)

Goodnight! :)

Some (overdue) stuff...

2011-03-08T20:21:00.004+08:00

To A,

So what if I had viewed every single thing, it still failed to changed my views/ ideas in the slightest of ways. Maybe it's cuz the both are us are equally stubborn and think that the other is definitely wrong. I did not ditch you. Remember your tone that day? I wasn't in any way unwelcoming. So I greatly suspect your perception of things (you just hung up on me like that and when I called back, you kept insisting I was being patronising/ nonchalant/ whatever, by saying "so??...." when to the best of my memory, I did not use that word at all.). Miscommunication? I guess not. I think you were being hypersensitive at that point in time (also referring to your emotional state from your post on the entire matter) and was critical of everything I did. I just think that EVERYTHING could have be used as a tool/instigator for an argument. :)- This is my perception of things. But it doesn't really matter now who's correct, does it?

How on earth did you expect me to in any way to continue our "conversation" when you sent me nothing but awful text messages with resentment in every single one of them? You don't even hear explanations (or excuses in your POV, I suppose) but just kept insisting everything you thought it was. So I could not be bothered for anything more.

---The End---

To B,

Why did you screw up so much of your life and end up in such predicament?

I thought it was rather obvious.

Your meaningless and stupidly desperate obsession with girls made you such a loser.

Your inflated ego and laziness made you lose the things which were suppose to be yours.

KUDARANAI.-.-

---The End---

Just go away... everyone.

To me,

I swore to myself if I can't leave by age 26, I shall give up the ghost.:)

But you better hope I leave. Because if I don't, then ano futari wo korosu.:)

Either way, what must be done will be done. :) Have loads of fun waiting :)

Last year too many people left at once. It was a blow cuz I wasn't prepared. Such short notice. So many people flew away so I was desperate too. Anyway, more people shall fly away and I am so happy for every single one of them :)

When I fly off, I shall only come back once to finish what's undone.

Or if I don't get to fly, I will DEFINITELY finish the awful job :)

tanoshii ni mitte!

I don't care about lots of things. and my screwed view on life does not matter.

Cuz in life, only one thing matters :)

Oyasumi!

P.S. I can NEVER understand how teachers can be like that. Nor can I EVER convince myself that such teachers actually exist/ existed (in my life). I tried to forget. Sorry. I can't. So I will never forget :) and the story's not ended :)

I think you are crazy. maybe so am I ;)

2011-03-02T19:34:00.003+08:00

Who the hell does that??

zzzz I find it really annoying these days. like REALLY annoying.

nvm.

I am trying to love homework and doing questions... :/

I am trying to really dislike people who are imitating others and have no hint of originality at all.

Absolutely NONE.

I feel sick when I have to look/ communicate with such people.

It makes me wanna puke.

Actually many things make me feel disgusted recently.

Especially people with certain features on their facebook info.

Is it mere coincidence that those people all have that specific ______ on their facebook info page?

hahaha they are of the same sort. the same kind.

Yes. I LOVE to categorise people now. Stereotypes really DO make things more efficient (LOL this is projected in the movie "Up in the air"). I am becoming more and more critical and subjective. When you've tried certain things with certain group of people and when it always turn out the same way, you will likely to forever assume such group of people is so.

I think after watching "大切なことはすべて君が教えてくれた", I love the word "defective".

And I totally don't agree with the sensei xP

What is becoming of me?? O.O

If you watch the drama, I think you will know what I don't agree with. It's so not PC so I shall not state.

I nearly got dragged down into the muddy water with you.

I will never let you lay a finger on me.

Just go away. I will never be so disillusioned by you.

I will never ever be affected by people with screwed emotions and low self esteem.

Just go away. Cuz it spreads like a disease.

even though i know i really have to.

2011-02-27T20:54:00.003+08:00

I just couldn't bring myself to read pass half the entry.

Sorry. I don't know why I always get stuck in the middle of what you wrote.

And my eyes just can't look at the bottom half.

Just couldn't look at the rest of the things you wrote about us.

Maybe I'm escaping from the responsibility of a friend.

Maybe I don't wanna make myself feel worse by knowing how you felt.

Maybe I'm just that selfish.

Maybe I still wanted to be ignorant and happy for as long as I can act out to be.

I don't know if you will ever read this either.

But anyway, this is just to tell you that I didn't finish the stuff you wrote cuz I could not bear to.

Maybe I think this is the easier way out for all of us. For you and me.

No more complications.

No more misunderstandings.

No more expectations.

Thus, no more disappointments.

I like the easier way out.

'Cause I'm tired and worn out by too many other things.

We are different.

Maybe our differences just fail to complement one another.

Maybe I feel unjust as well.

I wonder if you've ever questioned your judgement.

But it doesn't matter. Cuz my points often fail to get across.

Our views are too different.

Your stand may be too extreme at times.

Explaining really do make facts/ logic sound like lame excuses.

So i don't even try anymore.

There was no room for questioning whatsoever.

So I'm tired of explaining anything at all.

Am tired of getting everything back in place too.

'Cause deep down, I can feel that something like this is gonna happen again.

This circle of negativity has no end.

Thus came to my conclusion that maybe it will end like this sooner or later.

I really don't get how you can be so confident of what you wrote.

How you're able to be so sure of that's exactly what I thought/ occurred.

Such confidence in the view of a matter destroys all rooms of doubt.

It leaves a certainty which the other is too exhausted to turn over.

So yeah...

kimi dare ga koroshitai?

2011-02-18T20:47:00.002+08:00

O.M.G. It is so freaking awkward. LOL.

Cuz I know I have to (although it's totally not compulsory) go back to a certain place, get a certain thing, and just stay there. Gahhh yeah no one knows what I'm talking about. Great. Cuz it's really awkward so saying it will just make it worse.

I think when I was young I didn't know what is awkward... LOL

I think no one really noticed the feeling of 'awkward' when they were still in their childhood?

Can't remember since when did I start to notice that feeling... Sec 1??? or maybe primary school?

You know... those kinda awkward silences you share with people whom you sorta know but with whom you're not really close with, but neither is he/she someone you can just ignore... bwahaha

BTW, I'm like totally in love with a song these days and I find one part of the lyrics so damn true!! When translated to english, it means something along the lines of "Don't you feel like giving up on everything you've tried to desperately hold on (for so long)?" So ironic right? :/ 'cuz sometimes things get tiring to handle and hold on to...

Ohh! and I totally loveee wooyoung now xP

BTW, I've got a dream company now! :D YAY! I wanna work for Lotte!! :D I shall brush up on my 2 pathetic languages... :P It's time to 落叶归根。。。(sounds weird)ROFL.

After learning/ being exposed to a few languages, I feel that Korean is the easiest to pick up.

Because there is this set of simple writing system/ 'alphabets'... So it makes life easier.

I think Mandarin is the hardest! Cuz there are too many words and for people who have no previous background in chinese characters (I think people should pick up mandarin since young and they should learn it in China LOL), I think it's pretty difficult to pick up.

I guess English might be comparable to Mandarin in terms of difficulty cuz there are just so many english words and forms!! Just look at the amount of slangs, colloquial words, British/American english and blablabla! Even though there are only 26 alphabets, which may make it seem easier than mandarin, I feel that there is not enough "general pattern" in the words.

Mandarin may be relatively easier instead cuz once you get the meaning of certain words, you can just deduce or guess the meaning of the words you don't know by looking at the words which make up that word. LOL NVM.

Learning mandarin is really super useful in building a basic foundation for Korean and Japanese cuz certain words have very very close pronunciations/ characters so you can basically get a rough idea out of the words you're not very sure of.

I am really tempted to learn a European language!! argh! But I shall be super super pro in my current languages!! I am Asian after all xP

atashi sannin ga koroshitai

Jya!

p.s. I bought really authentic mochi today(at a reasonable price with my favourite GREEN TEA filling)!! *happy!!* :D

你都不懂。

2011-02-10T20:54:00.002+08:00

Hey hey actually I should be REALLY BUSY but I don't know why I feel like I've got loads of time on hand -.-I guess that means I'm not utilizing my time well.

I really really really love mochi and daifuku!! xD HOWWW?? Cuz it's abit hard to find nice, authentic and REASONABLY priced ones in Singapore :(

Can't believe I have never been to JAPAN :(

When I was fifteen, I really really wanted to be a Japanese LOL

I always contemplated why on earth wasn't I born a Jap?(tsk some things are really just fate?) So that I can go to a Jap high school (which I thought was a fantabulous idea - naiveté - I didn't know better about the tremendous amt of stress those students have to handle :/). I desperately tried to imagine as far as I can of being a Jap high schooler by researching on the schools, lifestyle, videos, pictures etc. Gosh I was really really desperate. Now that I think of it, it was rather lame.

Or maybe I really wanted to find a place where I can belong or sth? haha!

You know, that I don't have any sense of patriotism for any country whatsoever? and it really sucks?? cuz it feels like I don't have culture, customs to follow etc etc All because my background's a little little messy compared to people who are born and bred in their own country with traditions, history and national pride blablabla. I was really envious of such people... I think even now...

Back to the topic on Japan, another very very motivating factor, besides some dreamlike high school life portrayed by certain tv shows, is the FOOD!!! XP they are all SO DAMN EXQUISITE NE??

end of entry lolol pure randomness

ne! atashi no koto suki?

2011-02-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

koroshitai

2011-01-31T17:44:00.000+08:00

ningen wa wagamama na doubutsu desu

atashi doushite ano hito tachi nanka shinjiteitan daro?

kyou wa atashi no koto

daremou tasukete nakkata jyanai?

daremou kinishite nakkata jyanai?

daremou sukurete nakkata jyanai?

atashi mou genkai da...

atashi doushite kibou nanka... baka jyanai no?

hito ga kirai desu.

sayonara.

atashi jikan ga naiyo.

hima mou nai.

atashi ima kara benkyou shimasu!

benkyou dake wo shiteimasu!

benkyou igai no koto zenbu iranai!

zenbu hoshi ku nai!

bleh. there's loads of linguistic/grammatical errors in the above thing i guess... :/

CRAP I really need to study. only.

dakara nanni?

2011-01-29T21:40:00.000+08:00

ame...

I got totally drenched in the rain again -.-

Cuz I thought it will not rain again in the night since it's been raining the whole day and it finally stopped when I went out.

BUT it started to rain again when I was walking back home!

Then it made me remember sth that happened last year when sth similar occurred.

I was walking back home when it was drizzling then an auntie offered to give me her umbrella!

Very weird right? cuz I think she just left her house (heading to the main road) and I was (rather obviously) heading back to my house. So I rejected the very kind offer. Anyway it was a really short distance from my house and she seems like she's going somewhere quite far... lol. I guess she must be a really nice person... right? haha I think sharing umbrellas with strangers are very nice and fine but totally giving the umbrella to someone else you don't know is kinda weird?

Well... when it is pouring and raining super heavily, no one even offered to share with me an umbrella :( They just walk pass me like that... even if we were going the same direction.

So when I came back today, the security guards at the guard house laughed at me xP

Cuz I always leave the place dry and come back looking like a drain rat xD

And this happens almost every week :/

But I really don't like carrying umbrellas around... :/

ano hito koroshitai

2011-01-27T23:25:00.000+08:00

nante ne~

ewww... no wonder -.-

2011-01-25T20:33:00.000+08:00

I am just still very traumatised over what happened cuz I just found out the reason/elicitation of sth. LOL PTSD NAHHH

Anyway, I watched kokuhaku!! FINALLY!! :D

It was kinda gory but the plot is 'sweet' (it totally reminds me why I love jap shows!)!!

I think there's lots of black humour involved and it just twists and turns your brain 'cuz there's lots of psychological themes involved! But too bad the girl and killer A did not end up together :/ Cuz I really thought that the guy actually did like the girl for a while and finally found someone who understood him.

BTW, my mum suddenly bought 3 iphones today -.- 2 for my counsins and one for me... cuz apparently there's like a promotion going on for 3 iphones or sth. Gahh I thought of waiting for the next one and she just so suddenly bought it... zzz... She's always like this. Buying stuff without discussing with people. She bought this bloody far (from school) house on impulse too. :(

So my cousin had stayed with me for a few days and I'm kinda tired of it now. :/

I think I can't really stay in the same house with people other than my parents for long. I think I have OCD. LOL. He drooled on my pillow T.T and now my toilet is really..... arghh YEAH it's my fault... I shouldn't be so critical. NVM.

Ohh BTW BTW, It is rather obvious why I am always complaining about the distance haha! It seriously won't fucking matter if I ACTUALLY liked my school even if it's in Malaysia! My lame repetition over the distance matter is to ascertain the idea that I don't belong. ahhh nvm nvm. *yawns* actually I really DID likED the school. haha but I guess it didn't like me... so... yeah... :/

I am feeling more and more uncomfortable everyday about staying here (SG). And the feeling's growing exponentially. BLEH. I don't know why. I think I still loved my family and house and everything last year? But suddenly I feel this ____ again. I don't think it's against my family. haha I think my friends will know what i'm against. Blah bleh bye~!

rolls eyes

2011-01-18T21:10:00.000+08:00

You know. Sometimes when I bicker/ quarrel/ argue (you get the point -.- and fyi, I rarely start such things-.-) with someone and when I suddenly stop replying/ refuting/ defending myself, it totally does not mean that I'm convinced/ enlightened/ feel that I'm at fault blablabla! It simply means that I am tired and don't wanna continue such meaningless argument of which I find trivial (yeah, I find almost all arguments insignificant and lame now 'cuz rarely do you ever get a desirable conclusion/ outcome >> which is why people argue -.-).

Why are some people so critical with others but not with themselves? *yawns* I've evaluated myself and figured that I've got more mean over the years :/ But I feel that I'm beginning to take everything with a pinch of salt lately.

I think meanies are really weak inside, cuz most of the time it's the insecurities hidden within which brings out one's defensive nature to protect oneself. Rather delusional to think by being tough/ mean/ a bully, fear can be injected into potential attackers. I digressed -.-

Ultimately, it's whether you want the friend or you wanna win the argument (which is rather pointless, considering that there's no value whatsoever to speak of in such an insignificant thing... so you still lose in the end... Weighing the costs and benefits, LOL, it's a really undesirable choice.)

crap. I think I can hardly get to sleep this week. fml T.T

Do you think the cold war will start again or has it never really ended? Cuz it feels like something's gonna start again xP

*yawns* nights!

your love is so cheap.

2011-01-17T19:46:00.000+08:00

It was so obvious today. LOL

I saw someone who looks like a person I don't like and semi-consciously glared at him!! hahaha!

Seriously, why do so many people look alike (to me)...?

Anyway, one more week to go~

and I've been psycho-ing myself very very well that I MUST NOT feel sian!!

It's been working well for the past 2 weeks but it's effectiveness seems to be wearing off this week.

*yawns**yawns*

I feel that I always have problem sleeping on Sunday night. Most of the time I really hardly sleep.

I think it's because I will feel very stressed about waking up early the following day. :/

I cabbed home today again :/ haiz. Cuz I was too tired to walk.

BTW, my cousin's gonna stay with me for 2 weeks. So hope everything goes well.

*yawns**yawns**yawns*

I just can't help but keep editing this post cuz I think it's too short and lacking in content.

I just (a few seconds ago) saw someone's facebook profile and jaw-dropped. lol cuz the pictures that that person drew are wayyy beyond a humble student's capacity. Well, maybe that person's not really humble ROFL. But the pictures are downright amazing. Some people are just born with certain enviable talents :/

Like how I'm almost tone deaf. LOL blehhh just kidding! But i seriously suck at deciphering notes. -.-

Ideas

2011-01-13T22:17:00.000+08:00

I don't avoid people. 'cuz there's normally no reason to do so.

I don't avoid people I dislike

(unless I really really can't stand them... which boils down to a number that can be counted with one hand).

So I guess it may SEEM like I'm avoiding certain people(now) but it's totally not so. :/

Such things turn out to be very troublesome to handle when the people involved let their imaginations run berserk. -.-

It just SO HAPPEN that I really can't make it for certain things that we are involved in.

But these people will start thinking if it's because of blablabla so that's why I'm showing hints of avoiding them. -.-

Whatever.

You are still :)

2011-01-11T19:41:00.000+08:00

As I grow older, I feel that alot of people in this country looks the same... LOL I think in other countries as well. :/ Like it's the same type of features. haha don't really know how to say this.

Anyway, when I meet new people, some of their faces will make me link them to people whom I've known previously. Instinctively, I will decide that they are of the same type / share the same character? Sometimes they are rather accurate...

One of the problems this brings is stereotype. LOL

and right now i still feel very affected by people who have certain features that remind me of certain people ><

p.s. why can you block people on msn/facebook etc. but not your phone?-.-

Falling in love with a mannequin

2011-01-09T15:33:00.000+08:00

Digress....

Actually I've got nothing much to write about :/

Just that I've thought about the title for quite a while after someone suggested (a few years ago) something along the lines of, "what if someone really fell in love with a mannequin? Wouldn't it be very sad?" and it made me start to wonder if it's actually possible for anyone to do that...

By the way, I discovered that it's called agalmatophilia! and apparently there are really such cases :O. Well, people are always so unpredictable.

Piano piano piano...

I've discovered that my second piece for piano practical exam is a really sweet piece to vent my anger and frustrations! LOL 'cuz it's so damn long and fast and tiring. and I guess it just feels great to play such a fast piece while you're very stuffed up inside(?) It seems easier to play faster when I feel the frustration!! haha! But I think this piece is supposed to be light and cheerful? :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UWTW8Md-us&feature=related

The only thing bothering me is that I might get pretty nervous on the exam day! Which happens to almost everyone -.- Imagine being in a huge room with just the piano and the examiner staring at you a few metres away :/ My hands will start turning cold in that freezing room and it might get so tense that I will just start playing super fast, regardless of the tempo. Then nearing the middle I won't be able to catch up cuz the tempo would've already gotten out of control!

Hope that it will not happen!! >:)

A lot of results are coming out soon! I just can't wait!!LOL! First will be my HCL O level result ('cuz I retook it last year-.-), followed by PW A level result, and in march will be my JLPT N3 result, then finally my piano practical result in end of March!

HOPE that everyone can score very very well!! xD

School's been pretty nonchalant- which is good :) and I've been rather hardworking compared to last year! xD Just that the distance between the school and my house never fails to turn me off every single day :) What a stupid decision.

My parents have been suggesting to move to Jurong -.- and naturally, I violently objected! since it feels almost like a god forsaken place to me. Sorry! totally no offence intended to the people there! :( It's just that I'm too used to staying near the middle and have super convenient access to places like town, harbourfront, Bishan and places like that :/. What if one day I have to go to pasir ris/ Changi for something? The journey would be horrendously long, boring and back breaking :P blehh

I once tried taking a taxi from Boon Lay to Changi and it felt HORRIBLE!! I almost puked cuz I got car sick after the cab driver drove for almost an hour -.- I usually get car sick after 30 min on a cab :X Besides, my parents' working places are mostly gathered near the purple line so it's not worth the move at all. I don't want them to be separated since my dad's gonna stay in serangoon and my mum is gonna move with me to jurong if we ever were to move -.-

Of course, people suggested I move into the hostel. And I don't want either cuz it's very troublesome to move all my stuff over there and I just don't like the idea of having to look at the school every single day and knowing that you're in the school like 24hrs :X I don't want curfews either!

Then my parents suggested the old idea--- taking cab to and fro every single day.

and I very nicely rejected it too... LOL cuz I think it's a total waste of money.

So anyway, this is still one of the main problems and I guess there is only one way to solve it :)

But I don't know. haha! whatever! :)

Blog revived!

2011-01-01T18:29:00.001+08:00

It feels like it's been (only) days since I last blogged.

This blog's been dead for over a year and having just read my older posts, they seem quite childish and stupid (especially all those posts on Jap stars ><). haha! Maybe it's cuz I've aged and don't bother about loads of stuff anymore?

Well, today's 1/1/11 so I thought I should revive this blog and start recording my life seriously with a more convenient medium :/, since my previous pathetic attempts in keeping a real, solid, tangible diary failed miserably as always xP

I shall start with a review of the year~

2010... ... (being a cursed year?)

Family

Due to various external factors ><, we quarreled almost everyday this year so the mood in the house is quite dense. Blah.

But it's been getting better these days nearing 2011 so I expect it will only get better as it should only get better :)

You know, no matter how angry/ upset with your family, it's really hard as hell to bear grudges or whatsoever :)

This year, there are people who left the family (may them rest in peace!)and new members whom I've yet to met :/ Really looking forward to a family union of sorts.

BTW, I prefer China to Korea :)

Maybe it's cuz I have more relatives in China :) & cuz I was born there?

When I went back 2 years ago, it's really nice with all your relatives been so so nice to you even though I haven't met them for years xD

When I went back(?) to Korea this year, it felt incomparable to China... hahaha maybe it's cuz my aunt's too busy with her restaurant and my uncle is too busy with his business? :/ Well all I know is they really really tried their best to bring me around. My grandma was really nice to me too but it's getting abit difficult for her to travel around so she could not really bring me anywhere xD

Ohhh and I just couldn't bring myself to all the food my aunt made me eat when I was in Korea :( I guess she thinks that my eating habits are similar to my cousin's :/Goshh I still remember to forced me to each a whole plate of BBQ chicken all by myself! :( It was horrible (not the chicken, but the idea of finishing so much -.-)!! I almost puked :/ Now it sounds like I totally didn't enjoyed my trip xD

The whole Korea trip made me felt like a wild child with bad manners plus a super selfish and self centered mind :/ Cuz apparently I'm not raised with the set of customs/culture/ mannerisms that my relative had expected me to be brought up with... ? :/

Oh wells, my mum told me that my aunt really miss me now... so I guess she didn't really think that bad of me?

School

It was vexing. That's all I can say.

and a really, almost total, complete waste of time (my precious time T.T).

Allow me to describe my feelings when I was in school this year :)

I felt DEAD. like a walking zombie.

more like an invisible walking zombie with no thoughts at all :)

Gosh can't believe I wasted so much time. But I ONLY have myself to blame.

Going for lectures felt like going to an empty hall and just sitting over there, looking at the screen then copying stuff that's been flashed on the screen. Nothing's going in. Cuz it felt meaningless. I don't know why. Like there's no interest in learning anything.

Tutorials felt like a cursed repeat of the whole scenario mentioned above.

ANYWAY, I believe that university/ the period after A levels will be a much better period :D

and I've finally switched back to being human again :) and I've finally got my goals set! :) I'm also so much more clear on how to get those things that I want :)

Relationships

Well, let's talk about friendship... since family was already mentioned above :/

When friends are being put together for long, there will definitely be disputes and certain aspects of another person which one cannot put up with... But most of the time, they are very minute stuff, which one learns to let go after a period of time :)

I've learned that no matter how close you think you are with another person, it's only reasonable that that person could not stand you at one point; or vice versa. It just happens :/

Anyway, this year it was really very very fortunate for me to have found, what I suppose "true" friends. Wahhh they are so hard to come by and I guess I'm really lucky to have found quite a few xP

AHHH I've being having surge of gratitude every so often this year cuz many times, they know what I'm feeling even without me saying a word and they are so nice xD

Now, another part of relationship is BGR? *yawns*

I've only got one thing figured out this year...

which is... liking someone is much much better/fortunate than being liked :D

anyway, I felt like I've lost interest in this kinda stuff xD

I think I've became more mature overall :)

Extra stuff

Piano...

My Grade 8 exam is in a month's+ time!! and I am currently very very stressed over it!

I HATE PLAYING PIANO!! (I think this is a common phase that most people who are taking exams have to go through :/) I've being getting scolded for almost every single lesson T.T DAMN STRESSFUL.

Japanese Language...

I've finally got down to taking N3 JLPT last year (2010 lol) and I hope it goes well so that I can take N2 next year :D

Korean Language...

I will try my best to learn to read and write again xD

and I suppose I will take a Korean proficiency test next year? :)

CIP...

I have no idea... *yawns*

*********************************************************************************

I believe that 2011 will be a very very good year~!!! hahaha!!! :D I hope that that uncle I met on the MRT train is accurate!! :D Since he said my 2010 would be horrible and 2011 will be better!! :D I think 2010 had been the worst year of my life! But after something bad had occurred, something good will happen right? :D Since there should be a balance?! :P

I've made up my mind to massively cut down the amount of J dramas I watch!! Unless the drama has a very high rating or the plot is super super interesting! :D I will also cut down on the number of movies I watch unless it's during breaks between studying :)

I will work hard and study:)

Then go overseas!! :D

In the pursuit of happiness :)

wth -.-

2008-05-20T23:40:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling super pissed now... zzz
Even though I'm leaving in another 7 hours... haiz...
My parents are so... arghhhhhhh
nvm... I just need a place to vent my frustration.
Anyway, I finished Jotei!! And I'm watching Mushishi & jigoku shoujo currently...
Thinking about the mushishi makes me more put off. That stupid veoh didn't even bother to reply my message and I'm just like an idiot always hoping that it will load one day...zzz
(I know you have completely no idea what I'm talking about but this post is just to make me feel that LITTLE LITTLE bit better... So that I dun have to just forcefully stuff eveything inside me)
I just feel super bu shuang now... haiz... hate to leave singapore feeling this way but can't help it cuz some people just have to piss me off to the very end of the day.
BTW, I feel that the school is super irresponsible.
End of entry.
Goodnight!
Sweet dreams!
& Bye!

hahaha!

2008-05-09T18:31:00.001+08:00

Yay! Today is the last days of exams! But I still have so many things to pick up... zzz
there's CCA next week le =.=
Just thinking of it makes me tired...
hee I did badly for 5 papers! Let's aniticipate the result!
Flying off in 13 days! =DDDD

~~*convincing myself real hard that i am not jealous!!! argh! xD*~~

It seems...

2008-05-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

It seems like the only thing that can bring my fingers to blog is Jstuff... =.=
nvm... I'm gonna blog about sth sad/happy now...
Oguri Shun and Yamada yu is like OFFICIALLY dating T.T
why?? lol! I was eating my beancurd as I was reading the news and I almost choked -.-
LOL! Yamada Yu??!! Why out of all people, Yamada Yu??!!!!
Although she's like younger than Shun, she looks so mature that I always have a misconception that she's like 30+! xD

Actually she's quite OK la... at least she looks alright...
I just thought that Oguri will be together with those 'cute & sweet' type and not mature kind...
LOL... maybe it's cuz of the Idol doramas that gave me this impression of Oguri... You know... like Hana Kimi and Hana Yori Dango... haha... I'm so sian-ed now...

I'm currently watching Zettai Kareshi and Last friends these days... But both are currently airing so I have to keep waiting for updates =.=
Zettai Kareshi is uber sweet!! xDxD
But Last Friends is super bian tai...
All the important characters(which includes the lead) have their own secrets which are really very hard to discover... the whole thing is very scary la... and Ryo is acting the bad guy somemore! He's like psychotic in that show la... keep on kicking and beating up his girlfriend =.=
and asking his girlfriends to cut off his ear=.= zzz it gives me mental stress...
Then Ueno Juri is also starring in that show! But she's like some sort of lesbian in that show and she is scared of people(can understand... under that kind of environment...)... Oh and the 2 other main characters in Nodame cantabile is also in Last friends!! Just that Tamaki Hiroshi is not there =(((

haha ok... since i updated, I shall update on myself too! well, History test was damn hard and I totally wrote really lousy quality things... maybe i will just a 20 or lower...
Maths paper one was still alright; Bio is LOL; Chinese is did-not-finish; Chem is =.=; Today's physics is like ZZZZZ...
Ok. Just hope for a better paper tomorrow!! yay!! there's SS! At least it should be better than all other papers =.=

Oh! and I finally get to leave singapore!! =D *a million smilies*
hahaha! I'm leaving on the 21 May to China! Which means I will get to skip school!! =DDDDDD

2008-05-05T14:45:00.001+08:00

Yamashita Tomohisa is like damn NICE and SWEET and KIND and FORGIVING luhh!!!
omg... I just saw the video where he got harrassed by those crazy fan-girls at the airport! He's so poor thing laa!! The news article said his clothes were torn, his hair was pulled and everything... argh... then his friends were like cursing the Korean fans but Yamapi didn't say a thing! T.T iotoko ne!!

lalala

2008-05-04T13:05:00.000+08:00

hahaha this is so LOL... xD 2 guys taking a picture together! xD haha so cute!!

Left is Pi right is Ryo xD xD xD
Today is Sunday! haha tomorrow is the official start of Mid Years (for me) =D
and I haven really studied for it! xD
Let's see how I will endure and pull through this amazing horrendous week ahead!
Wish me all the best!! =DDDDD

hahaha I'm very high now xD
I shall list all the things I'm gonna do after I finish my Mid Years:
1. Go out shopping shopping shopping!!!
2. Memorise all the hiragana and katagana!!
3. Read finish Hongo Kanata's diary!! xDxD (lol.. typical crazy fangirl)
4. Watch all the doramas on Kanata!!
5. Watch many many movies!!
6. Go out everyday!!
7. Practice piano piano piano!
8. Try to get another trial violin class xD
9. Buy Godiva infusions... or at least try to get my parents to buy for me again! hyahyahya
10. Finish TKA
11. Buy loads of stuff from L'Occitane! xD
12. Find all means to get out of this country!!
13. Watch Kurosagi Movie!!
14. Finish Case Closed!
15. Visit Mise exclusive!! (I say 'visit' cuz I dun think I can afford anything there. and I dun think anything is worth to buy there cuz it's so much more ex than the real market price ¬.¬)
*trying to convince myself that those things are just stuff with JE's faces!!Not worth it! but it's so tempting... haha*

hahaha! 15 things to do at the moment... Shall try to think of anymore possible stuff to do xD

Had 2 nightmares today! It was horrible!!
Just being random xD

I just went to take a look at Kanata's message board and *shivers* the fangirls are so...... lol...... mushy...... I want to leave a message too! ButI feel that it's redundant... anyway, it's not as if he'll reply... T.T

Yay! I'm moving house! =D

2008-04-23T19:56:00.001+08:00

Helloz! This shall be a quick post.
I just came back from my new house... I'm currently blogging at my old house :)
I've lived with this house for 8 years le! =D haha! Really 不舍得 to move away leh... haiz...
When I was young, I was super afraid of the darkness so when the sun sets, I would always be really scared... haha.. Scared that Sadako will suddenly pop out from the TV or sth. So I will always think that this house is very scary at night since I was always left alone in the house =.=

But after 8 years of rain and shine with this house, it proved to me that Sadako will not pop out from nowhere! haha! and this house is not haunted =D
I think I've vandalised alot on this house... xD oops..
The new house is not bad la... It just looks more haunted than this old house...
I went there today to check it out and I fell asleep on my bed... I was so tired =(
But the pillows were not really nice though... haiz...
Moving in this friday le... So much packing up to do...
and I can't really revise for my mid-years le... cuz the table has not arrived yet...
There's so much homework for me to do! *rolls eyes*
DDDDDD:

Arhh! good news for me! haha! I've just found the violin concerto piece in the Nodame cantabile special!! hahaha!! omg! it's damn nice!! xD

My parents are moving my funiture out of my room now... haiz... I feel that I have so little time left... arhh... I can't type anymore... need to chiong homework le! I've been procrastinating again!
fine! Byebye!

oh gosh... just stop pretending... say what you really feel la! Cuz you're making me hate you like shit. If you just let me continue infer like that it's just gonna make matters worse cuz I know that your true intention is worse than the devil's scheme.

Revive!

2008-04-15T23:37:00.000+08:00

Helloz! What a rare occassion for me to blog! :)
It's really late now and I'm still chionging LA review while apparently slacking here! hee..
There was CCA today and it was super tiring... zzz
Then I went to JE to eat after that with emo twin(again... =.=)
So both of us got very emo... lol!

Anyway, went home and surf the net and as usual, went to JESGFC!! =D haha!
Then many members of livejournal were talking about ordering Japanese magazines from Liang court!! haha! So now I know where they got it! hee xD
Recently I've decided to create a livejournal account! So as to discuss JE stuff with JEFGs on livejournal! hee! Cuz I couldn't comment to buy stuff or discuss without an LJ account...
Haiz... Anyway, this is my new e-mail! in case many people do not know... But it's not for msn so it doesn't really matter... it's just another gmail account... insidiousgingerbread@gmail.com =D
Well, I got the idea for the e-mail from Hansel and Grantel(is this how you spell it?) xD

hyahyahya! I am very determined to take violin lessons so I shall work hard to convince my mum to allow me take it! hee! BTW, I moving house next Friday! I'm moving to Woodleigh! =D
and it's like a haunted house... haha! cuz the building seems so OUT by standing tall among all the other landed properties and cemetry etc. around it. And when it gets dark, it looks like those haunted house as it's covered by lots of trees and it's damn isolated! haha! Maybe cuz that place haven't develope yet... Cedar Girls Schools is near my new house!! zzz... So why did I go RV in the first place... I could have jolly well stayed at Cedar! haha with the air-conditioned hall which is damn cool! xD But maybe not la... cuz in the end the class which I ought to be if I stayed in Cedar doesn't seems so united anyway... Unlike 2F<33

I'm really excited about tomorrow! I'm gonna meet-up with JEFG! =DD
1st time meeting up! I concluded that almost all JE(SG)FGs are NICE people! ahaha!
I know that most people don't have the slightest idea of what I'm talking about! but nvm! hee! =D

Ending off post with sth I need to say...
'As Allies Turn Foe, Disillusion Rises...'
Why am I so unfortunate to end up in the same 'way' with xxxxxxxxx? D=
I wish xxxxxxxxx will disappear from my life one day. I've never wanted anyone to disappear from my life so much before. I just hate xxxxxxxxx...

Watch the video!!

2008-03-26T17:46:00.000+08:00

The only thing that motivated me to suddenly revive my blog a little was this video!!
It is a short abstract from the movie 'MOST-The bridge'. The video is super touching!!
Must must must watch!! T.T
It's sooooooo sad!!!!!
I tried to find the whole movie after watching this vid but can't find any...
Anyway just watch the video!! watch carefully!! if you don't really understand what's going on then find the plot summary on the movie or watch the second video below!!
The second video is a 7 minute scene cut from the original half an hour movie =)
Seriously it is very very sad... Apparently the passengers did not know anything about what happened...
Just some extra info: there were 400 passengers on board the train
the second video explains why the boy fell into the bridge thing...

*sniff sniff* so sad... =,(

This + that = imperfect life

2008-02-29T22:13:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone who's still reading my almost dead blog! haha!
I've finally overcome my laziness and start posting =)
Well came back from JEC half and hour ago but I'm still infront of the computer surfing the net =.= and just somehow felt like posting...
If not I dunno when will I post anything again..
Procrastinating for far too long is bad for the brain... lol xD Can't help it cause the reality haven't fully reached me yet!
Well well... Now time for updates!! =D

1. My Birthday!! (which was like 3 days ago... But oh well.. I shall just write about it.)

It just had to fall on a Tuesday... =.=
The freezer of the Haagan Daz shop just had to break down that day =.=
So in the end mum and dad bought for me cheese cake birthday cake instead which tasted BLAH...
Thank you eveyone who wished me happy birthday and thank you loads for the presents!! =D
Love you all! yay! haha! although I didn't get the piano bag... lol but i got a nodame cantabile wallet! so i should be contented! And thank you for the soft toys and Rape of Nanking! =D and the little frog and so on.. hee hee =D

2. Godiva chocolate is NICE! But never put it in the fridge... lol

I lost my mind or something... I actually used my own money to buy Godiva chocolate??!! It was like so expensive for me!! 3 little balls of infusions cost $16++
So in the end I was broke for the week... D=
But it was worth it! haha! At least I got to eat it once in my life... lol what am i talking about... not as if i'm gonna die soon =.=

3. TESTS =.=

I totally did very badly for all the tests and assignments!! zzz
I'm still in the hibernation mood!! Time to wake up!!
Arghhh so tired these days! Can't pay attention in class at all! zzz

4. Tamaki Hiroshi (LOL)

Kyaaa I love him and dislike Kato Rosa!! wth she's like Yuu abiru that stupid flirt can??!!
Yuu Abiru was said to have dated Akanishi Jin then Yamapi and bla bla and Kato Rosa was said to have flirted with Yamapi and Akanishi Jin then dated with Tamaki Hiroshi... D=
Why Yamapi and Jin so poor thing one...... they are always targetted by those flirtatious female stars who just want to gain more popularity (which in turn had a reverse effect) and attention =.= BTW I feel that Johnny's entertainment very clever leh... They just cater to the female fans and know that they can earn loads of money from those crazy fan girls... lol

5. J drama, anime and more Jdrama and anime!! yay!

- As usual, Nodame cantabile is a must must must watch!!
Currently I'm finding news on the possibility of them making a second season...But I dun think it would be anytime soon... and the manga is still coming out quite slowly so... haiz... I dun think there would be a second season anytime soon luh...
BTW, under the influence of the specials, I downloaded the Liszt tracendental Etude No. 4 which left me in a complete loss... lol... even my piano teacher can't play it luh...So my goal shall be to master it by next year!! I'm being too far fetched again... haha

Liszt tracendental Etude No. 4

Nodame cantabile theme song MV!
P.S just look at the way the ink is squirted onto the beautiful grand piano... it makes me so xin tong! cuz i dun even have a grand piano and they're doing that to one!

ndaichi la... But it's really funny and cute so I recommend that you should watch it when you have nothing else better to do :)

- I found a very random and lame anime la... and it's quite sadist luh... Anyway, it's called "zoku sayonara zetsubo sensei" but it's the name for the second season so just find the first season and watch la =)
and I found a lot of other animes la but haven't watch most of them yet so I will give comment after I watch! =D
Oh YA! there is a new show by Oguri shun called binbo daishin which has got a SUPER FUNNY trailer!! LOL I think even episode 6 come out le but still no one went to sub it... =( so i've got no oguri shun to watch... =(

Arhh! Anyway, I want to watch august rush!! =D anyone wants to watch with me???!!

I'm ending this short update soon...
Cuz I suddenly feel sleepy and need to rest =D
Bye!! =D

~~I've not seen anything,~~
~~I've not heard anything,~~
~~I've not felt anything.~~
~~I've forgotten everything.~~
~~Just let it be that way...~~
~~But I really can't stand caccbaa(it's a code so dun bother to guess what it means... haiz)~~

Movie!!

2008-02-03T16:54:00.000+08:00

highly recommended Japanese movie!!!!
Heavenly forest!!
watch it on www.veoh.com
or crunchyroll!!
It was super nice!!! hahaha!!
super sad movie starring Tamaki Hiroshi!! (why is he always together with those weird girls? lol)

*Gonna find other japanese movies to watch now!! hyahyahya!!
Valentine's coming... and I'm broke... T.T

Nodame Cantabile!!

2008-01-30T21:02:00.000+08:00

Ahaha! Now I just finished watching the whole of Nodame cantabile (live action) and the specials!!

It was marvelous!! xD and because of that show, it made me get the inspiration to play piano and trumpet well.. haha! It's really a great motivation for those tired of practising intruments!!

Plus, the male lead's name in the show is CHIAKI (his real name is Tamaki Hiroshi! lol)!! muahaha! I love that name!! xD cuz those people who have that name seem to be really nice and shuai!! ahaha!

This is Nodame cantabile group photo!! haha! The show is super funny!!

Chiaki and Nodame!!! <3333

Anyway, that's not the point of this entry... The real thing I was going to talk about is the sale of the piano bag Nodame used in the drama!!

I came across a website which sells the Nodame cantabile collectables and they will deliver the things ordered to SINGAPORE in March 2008 and I thought how lucky I was!! Especially to have a chance to possess the piano bag which is used in the drama! But as I happily scrolled down the page... I saw the stunning price S$126 (sorry just found out i wrote the wrong price... it's an amazing amount of $165!!)!!!! *faints* I thought at most most most it would cost like S$60??

Then I scrolled down somemore and saw the nodame keychain!! but the price was again really really high... It cost S$30!!! haiz... So there's no chance of me buying it le... =(

As I came across another website, they were selling the Nodame Cantabile DVD! I thought i would be like S$40 at most?? Then it turned out to be US$227.90 and US$210.99 respectively!! USD!!!!! So it's like S$300++ ?? *faints again* Why are all those collectables and fan-stuff and DVD set so expensive???

So in all I didn't manage to get anything at all... sigh...

Nodame Cantabile!!

2008-01-30T21:01:00.000+08:00

2008-01-16T20:31:00.000+08:00

handphone no more battery le...
homework is stacking up day by day as i drag due to not having time to do it...
*yawns* so tired! =(
thinking bout tomorrow gives me a headache cuz I dislike the lessons tomorrow...
school's ending so late.. I can't really sleep on this saturday and sunday too...
I want my holidays back... Feel like going japan this march holiday...
when dad comes back mum's gonna discuss about it with him...
i bet he would strongly disagree... =(

Found a place to learn japanese le! =)
It's at city hall... I think I might only strart to enroll in Feb or March...
haiz... I'm gonna be really busy soon... =(
I've been listening to "Bump of Chicken's" songs these days! their songs are so nice and the lyrics are so meaningful!! xD It's a Jpop band again... lol... They are such a old band le... with nice nice songs.... don't want to type anything le...
bye...
goodnight...

and thank you =)
because of that it made me stop procrastinating...
It's a harsh world...
lol...
uptown girls was a really nice movie to tell the reality...

everyone's so busy that they lost their meaning...
without realising it, they made others lose their meanings too...
btw i hate vengeful idiots the most...
got so irritated by crazy people these days that i feel like leaving...
the most troublesome thing is to resolve a misunderstanding which is a waste of time and it's stupid. =.=

Dozo!! XD

2008-01-12T23:09:00.000+08:00

Saturday 11/1/2008

Went to Esplanade for the Kashiwa and combined band concert!!
Kashiwa played till damn nice!! arhh!!
Sometimes I even get goosebumps! haha!
But we arrived late at the esplanade so we missed about 5min of the concert =(
But the 5min was just like introduction and hand-overs... so it's alright! haha!

They were soo pro!! and during somewhere the middle of the concert Li Ling, Boon Chong and I started screaming!! haha! (zi-high)! cuz they were too impressive!!
It's the BEST BEST BEST band concert I have ever been to!!! xD
The whole mood was sooo high in the concert hall!! haha!

Then nearing the end we were screaming even more crazily!! It was soo fun! after that we sung furusato together with the band! and the band even played the song "Home" for us (singaporeans... even though I'm not) so that we could sing along with them!!
It was soooo nice and thoughtful!! haha!
and we kept on shouting "encore!!!" LOL! and they played many more extra pieces for us!! sooo nice!! Then when the concert ended... it made me a little she3 bu4 de2... haha

The concert made me want to go Japan, join Kashiwa high school then join the band!! haha!
since I'm only 14 now!! cuz high school in japan are for ages 15 to 18! =D
So even if I'm noob in the band also nvm! HAHA! cuz I will be a junior!!!

Then reached home around 11pm to 12am... =(
Took a shower and went to sleep...
I was super tired!! *yawns*

Even sleeping made me feel tired! cuz I dreamt of being in the MRT train with the 3E people and for the whole time I've been 'sleeping', it seemed as if I was taking the train! haha! so it felt like I didn't sleep at all but took the train the whole night long!! LOL

Sunday 12/01/08

Today reached Yuhua (which is at Jurong west) at 7.35am... then went warm up...
It was quite boring at first... haha cuz of the communication between the japanese band members and us... a little awkward during the sectionals.. haha!
But after a while it was quite nice already... cuz the Kashiwa members are like super nice!!!
kyaaa!!
haha!

So we practised 'Epicus' together by sub sections! and I couldn't follow/ catch up at certain parts! hee... The japanese girls who sat beside me were really nice to help me in tuning!! one of them is Satsuki san!! =D (I remember her name really welll cuz we talked about yamapi! XD LOL... shall elaborate on it later! haha!) They were really patient with me! cuz I mixed up my fingerings! LOL! Then whenever I got lost right, Satsuki san will stop playing and guide me by pointing at the notes on the score! The 2 japanese girls who sat beside me were really really friendly and helpful! cuz after the sub section practice we broke into pair practice and the other girl helped Satsuki and I clap the rhythm... They were really nice to go slowly with me! haha! (cuz I noob xD)

After a while Satsuki went away... then left me and the other girl practice together!! haha!! xD
She was really nice! =D

after lunch and bla bla bla...
It was RV's turn to perform for the kashiwa band... and when we tuned, my C was awful!! xD
Cuz I was already tired (due to the sectionals! lol) so my note kept 'dropping' down to G xD
So paiseh!

But when we played the pieces it was not that bad la cuz at least I didn't let my high notes drop.. xD But I didn't hold for some high notes... (haha cuz no more energy to hold)

Then after the performances and games we had photo taking!! The poses that the japanese thought up with were so creative, cute and nice!! haha! too bad I didn't bring camera... not even my phone cuz it was at the band room... T.T (regret so much for not taking pics with them!!)

Soon we had our dinner! buffet! haha! and I sat opposite satsuki! then we ate.. after I ate and was about to throw the plate, Satsuki san and her friends laughed and said, "you dun like to eat peas?" lol... so observant xD...

then after I threw away the plates and everything I came back and we started to talk in Jap+english (lol) the conversation was alright! haha! at least we both understood each other xD
and we praised each other then she said my jap was good! *blushes* then I said my japanese cannot make it... haha and we talked alot... then I found out she was 18 years old!! no wonder she was like sooo pro!!! senpai desu kara!!

She was really sweet!! xD then we went on talking about how i learnt japanese (through anime and doramas)...then we talked about naruto then Doraemon! haha! then Kurosagi(yamapi!!!)!! and Nobuta wo produce!! so this was why the topic slowly became yamapi and NEWS xD she told me there are also some crazy yamapi fans in the kashiwa band!! haha!!! xD *faints due to being too overjoyed*
Arhhh!! so nice talking to her lor!!! xD (so i can learn alot about japanese stars xD lol... maybe i lost the main topic which is band...) But as we talked, some of the very pro kashiwa band memebers started to give us short performances of pieces in the canteen! (so we cannot talk anymore) It was as nice as usual!! haha!! they are pros xD

After the performance I didn't get to really talk to her again! =(
lol... Satsuki san makes me really want to go to tomorrow's excursion!
But too bad I can't... =(
So the last time I'm going to see the kashiwa band will be on Monday!! arhh!! cuz they leaving after 4 more days!!! =(((((
Arhh! gonna miss them LOADS!!
really wanted to attend kashiwa high school after all these! LOL!

p.s I finally updated... actually wanted to update tomorrow one... But I know that I wun be feeling the way I'm feeling right now tomorrow... so might as well type everything down now!
=D

Kashiwa Daisuke!! =D

Arhh!

2007-12-31T22:53:00.000+08:00

Hix! :) <---- this is a very humble smile =) <------ this too xD

I just got the inspiration to write what I achieved etc in 2007 &

what are my goals for 2008!

In 2007...

1. Well, naturally I made new friends and got closer with my friends as days went by... =)

2. I haven't visited the teachers I said I will visited for quite some time!

T.T sorry!

3. LOL! The most obvious one... My grades dropped like crazy this year.

I totally didn't prepare for exams... not even End of year... cuz my mood and inspiration all went to yamapi! xD

4. I can finally adapt to band.

5. I started to have a craze over Japanese stuff... cuz I started to watch Jdramas!! and the one who introduced me to Jdramas was Guanlin!!

6. I had a crazy idol crush on Yamashita Tomohisa kun...

which was... wu yao ke jiu...

cuz during the End of year exams period, I will start to watch videos/ read articles on him the moment I reach home... and will only start to prepare for the papers in the late night... T.T

7. A lot of disputes and friction happened between friends which in the end was all solved... somehow...

8. I started to like crime/ murder/ detective fiction... lol... So I've become a little goth goth loli loli... haha

9. My parents finally bought a new house... xD

10. I started to crazily read mangas and watch animes.

11. I picked up manga drawing from Jiaman! xD

Tse sin asked me to post the picture I drew........

It was the second time I tried it out and it's not really nice so please don't critisise... xD

I can't draw the feet so jiaman said she's gonna teach me someday... =)

p.s BTW, I tried drawing sunako's face today... the eyes was alright... the nose was alright too... But the lips was totally not good! xD Still, the chibi Sunako is nicer and easier and cuter to draw =D

In 2008...

1. I am going to improve my japanese and enroll in Jap class (outside school)... Cuz I didn't choose Japanese in Pr. 6 for third lang... that time I didn't know that I would be so crazy over japanese today... xD haha!

2. I am going to pull my grades up again...

3. I am going to re-takeup piano and TRY to enjoy it... LOL

4. I am going to take art as a hobby! LOL

5. I am going to find out what I really want to be in the future!

cuz currently I want to be neurologist, psychiatrist, detective (because of all those stories), writer (to write all those murder stories... lol), lawyer, prosecuter, physicist, professor who teach physics in japanese/ america/ England universities, mangaka (lol! it's quite impossible unless I go to the US since my japanese can't be that high standard), rich daughter who shakes leg at home, bussiness woman, japanese actor (so that I can have a chance to act with my fav actors like yamapi! xD), japanese singer, korean singer, korean actor, house wife, farmer's wife, farmer, vet, cook and director!

LOL! am I being too greedy??!! So that's why I want to have a direction next year! xD

6. I want to slim down!! xP

7. I am going to read the books that I bought and not just leave them there to collect dust anymore xD

8. But anyway, for next year the main focuz will be my japanese... I can't be bothered to improve my korean anymore... haha... so it's getting worse... but if I have time then I shall work on it...

9. Be nice to everybody! =D

10. Have great friends! and great classmates! =D

well... that's all!! Bye bye! =D

goth goth...

loli loli... (LOL)

Well, well

2007-12-31T22:28:00.001+08:00

Well, well, all's not well
(It rhymes so that's why...)
I'm in 3E and that's alright...
Cuz I was already prepared mentally for the worst case scenario...
But it turned out to be fine...
It turn out that people in 3E are all not among the ppl whom I dun want to be same class with...
initially I thought no one I know would be in the same class as me one leh!
But now it's better than i expected cuz at least i know some of them =D

After I counted the number of PRCs in my class, it turns out that my class has the most PRCs among all the other classes... if i did not count wrongly... there are 8 PRCs!
and only 3 pathetic number of girls are taking history T.T
mostly are taking geography...

OK tha's enough now... and mum is making things difficult for me again
T.T
tomorrow is the last day I can rot at home le!
I shall make good use of it! =D
Bye!

TOO BRIGHT!

2007-12-30T20:47:00.000+08:00

DEV ART IS TOO BRIGHT!

WE ARE WORLDS APART!

LOL

I'm so going to melt soon...

well... I just started with manga drawing today... and the result was... not really good... haha

compared to those popular ones in dev art... mine is... worlds apart! T.T

BTW, being random, I thought of what would happen if the vampires in vampire knight were to appear in wallflower manga! LOL! Then it would be mountains of blood on the streets for the vampires! KYAAAAAAAAAA

LOL

ARGH... I'm starting to like shoujo manga now... T.T

The way the girls go ...

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA XD

Ghost hunt is also shoujo leh... =(

and it's scary...

haha

Bye bye

*being random

5 more... xD & piang piang piang!

QuizZes

2007-12-27T22:37:00.000+08:00

Yo! Watched I am Legend today!
It was NICE!! LOL
It was TOUCHING!
& it was SHORT!
HAHA!

Now just some random quizzes!! xD

How retarded are you?
[p.s I will answer the questions based on recent stuff... recent as in these years]

[ ]You have run into a door/wall once
(LOL! Not a wall or door... But a lamppost... xD Piang! and I got hit... cuz I was trying to fold an umbrella... It was EMBARRASSING!)

[ ]You like to run in circles when you have nothing else to do
(When I was young la... I mean that's what you do when you're young... No? haha!)

[ ]You have pushed a door that said pull
(HAHA! NEVER! [as far as i can remember] LOL!)

[ ]You still add with your fingers
(No... I don't... but I 'write' in the air if it has really big numbers involved)

[ ]You sometimes have trouble spelling the simplest words
(What's the definition of simple?)

[ ]Your friends have asked you if you are on drugs

[X]You dance when there is no music playing
(Isn't it normal? lol)

[X]You do this: sdkjhgkhsad, when talking to someone online
(Thats was because... never mind...)

[X]You stare into lights

[X]You have conversations with animals, or stuff that can't talk
(Yes.. definitely... that's what most people do too what... lol)

[X]You burst out laughing when nothing is funny
(Definitely! especially when it's QUIET! the atmosphere just gets so ticklish! like while watching I am legend today, at the relaly sad part where everyone was sobbing away and the atmosphere in the cinema was too quiet, I just started to giggle while crying at the same time! lol)

[ ]You make up words, then say them to people who have no idea what you are talking about
(When i was young...)

[ ]You make up your own language
(When i was young too...)

[ ]You like watching a channel on tv where they are speaking in a different language
(When i was young again... lol... although I am not any older now...)

MULTIPLY BY SEVEN AND I AM 35_%RETARDED
xD

2nd Quiz...

1. How late did you stay up last night?`
4 am... which is till this morning...

2. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
Go online and watch Exit no. 6! xD
(if you dun count the brushing teeth etc.)

3. Is the person you have a crush on older or younger than you?`
Older... xD

4. What did you do last night?`
homework...

5. What do you hope to do the coming weekend?`
Sleep and sleep and sleep and never waking up...

6. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?`
NO!!!! LOL
but maybe 6 months later! haha! (jkjk)

7. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?`
LOL!!! I DUNNO! maybe...

8. What were you doing this morning at 7am?`
Sleeping

9 . What were you doing this afternoon at 12pm?`
sleeping... the obvious reason was i slept late this morning...=.=

10.okayyyy???`
huh? ok...

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?`
Reading vampire knight manga! xD
the vampires are soooooooo shuaiii! LOL xD
oops...

12. What's a sure way to catch your attention?`
If takano kyouhei is there full of blood... haha!!lol...
which is impossible!!!!!!

14. Is there anything that you are craving for right now?`
OF COURSE!!!!
JAPANESE HIGH SCHOOL! AND ...
LOL
SHAN'T SAY... xD

15 . Have you ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."?`
haha! ya...

16. Do you drink tea?`
Of course!! and I MATCHA DAISUKE!! xD

17. Who was the last person to text you?`
Yulu!

18. Do you miss someone?`
DEFINITELY!!!!!!! T.T

19. Are you happy with your life?`
NO!! CUZ............

20. Is there someone/something you're trying to avoid?`
OF COURSE!!

Oh man!

2007-12-27T16:50:00.000+08:00

Gosh! I'm so... ...
(it's the feeling that is close to being cheated... But you know it's not really like that... cuz it's just a case like the blind men discribing the elephant by touching them..)!

But I'm not to be blamed! LOL!
Cuz I don't live in Japan and don't know how their life and systems work!
What actually happened which made me felt that way was...
I just found out a fact...
and that fact is that...

Japanese star's
[I mean those actress/actors etc]
nikki
[means diary... but in this case I'm refering to something like "online" blogs]
are actually a mobile phone service!! It's a service whereby people subscribe to the designated nikki and get updates on it through the mobile phone!!

*faints... cuz too impressed by the way they use their technology to make money*
[i mean... although Singapore also has these kind of services but it's still not so widely used...]

So there's no official blogs of yamashita tomohisa...
then what's the Jweb I found earlier which I thought was his nikki?
I think it's just some of his fans posting the posts on their jwebs which are designated for others without subscriptions to read ba...

haiz...
lol...
dunno what to say...
tomorrow there's band camp...
Bye! =D

T.T

2007-12-26T20:05:00.000+08:00

Currently I'm bored to death at home... + rotting away my time...
I have finished ALL of the NICE detective fiction shows and anime! and now I'm lacking of detective shows and mysteries for me to try and work out! Since my dearest Galileo and that Yukan club had finished subbing and I had finished watching both of the series...
[although i said i wun watch Yukan club the last time, but due to the fact that it involves solving mysteries, in the end I couldn't resist it and watched... xD]
m
So because of the lack of detective stories, I decided that I shall entertain myself with Case closed [aka Detective Conan] for the time being... But it was a little of a disappointment cuz i nearly fell asleep at the parts where it did not involve any mysteries, muders or crime solving [you know... like those parts where the characters just have conversation with other characters about their private lives and wellbeing or whatever etc.?]...
a
But I didn't want to skip those parts you see... cuz they were also part of the story...
So in the end during those parts, the anime successfully made me doze off and I closed it...
[So it was a failure attempt for me to try and watch Detective Conan to satisfy my craving and irresistable needs of detective fiction.]
s
Well... I also tried Death note... But since I watched the movie, it meant that i would know what happens in the first few episodes and so regardless of the boredom of re-watching, I watched it from the very first episode...
u
Sadly, because it didn't differ much from the movie [for the first 24 episode], it bored me to death again... So i skipped all the way to episode 25 [where L dies and other new characters come in etc.]... But i couldn't find the episode! LOL! and because I was too lazy to be bothered to go and find that very episode from other sites, I quit watching the anime...
d
Arghh.... I am like without life now cuz of the lack of these genre of shows!
Somehow it's super ADDICTIVE! =(
and i can't quit the cravings for it!!
Can any anyone recommend some Detective/ crime/ Mystery genre shows to me?
a
p.s sorry but I haven't finish my rantings... =)
i
I also wanted to watch Fugoh Keiji one... But I couldn't find English subs [apparently they didn't go and sub it in english]... there were only spanish subs, chinese subs and RAW ones...
I actually wanted to watch the chinese sub one... But in the end gave it up cuz if i watch chinese sub shows [with the actors saying japanese or whatever language i don't understand or can understand a bit, which in the end makes me even more confused when I both listen and read the subs] I couldn't catch up with the subs! Cuz I'm quite slow with the chinese so I had to pause again and again...... it's so troublesome... and the names are a problem too!
s
For example:
The name of the character pronounced in Japanese would be Yamashita Tomohisa [lol]
but the chinese words translated would be pronounced as "shan1 xia4 zhi4 jiu3" and it's irritating! cuz you dunno which name to follow! haiz...
s
and as expected, I gave up watching it after about 2 min... cuz i can't stand it...
then I went to hunt for other Detective genre shows and all of them were either too boring
[the way the people are killed are expected or there were too many conversations not regarding solving the mysteries among the characters etc.] or too longwinded or cannot be found or I dun like the actor/ actress... =(((
Japan!! please produce more interesting Detective shows like Galileo [very hard to solve! LOL! cuz it all involved science and i haven't learnt most of them! But super nice!] and tantei gakuen Q [typical ways of killing the victims... But very nice too! xD] and trick!! =((
If not I will rot cuz of the lack of these shows.... lol...
they're like essential part of my life already...
i
Later I might try an anime called Suteki Tantei Labryinth...
Initially i watched a little of the first episode... and it was boring...
[again cuz of the what i think 'meaningless' conversations going on with the characters... Just go on to solving the case already!]
n
Due to the lack of these kind of anime and shows, I went hunt for these kind of manga... LOL
so i found a few... which I can't bother/ dun dare to continue... cuz some of them are boring and some of them are really bloody and scary which involves split personalities and those psychological stuff... =((
g
Now... due to the lack of manga, anime and dramas of detective/ crime and mystery genre, I went on to books! and I bought a chinese book on collection of classic detective stroies... It was amazing!
l
I just read the first story yesterday night at around 1am to like 2.30am...
The discriptions were too gross and made me not be able to sleep! LOL
And I ended up thinking about the case almost the whole night! Cuz the murderer was sooo unexpected! LOL! it was the first time that I encountered such type of murderer in these murder cases! the detective was really smart!! So this morning I was having a hard time to wake up and having a hard time to stay awake during band...
e
All in all... the book was nice...
But what would I do after I finished the book?
I would be left hanging there again... craving and craving for the same genre of shows to appear... =((((
!
I've never been so obssessed with detective/ crime/ mystery genre stories!
[what's wrong with me these days......]
Cuz most of them got me too scared to continue... Like kindaichi... lol
Kindaishi sure is scary! It's more like a horror genre can? cuz the victims were murdered in such a cruel way and the whole plot was super eerie...
=D
Well enough of my blabberings...
I haven't even finished my holiday homework!!
xD
Bye bye!
Good night!! =D

P.s just one last thing... can you make out what I'm saying? LOL it's totally got nothing to do with this post... if you managed to find the letters =D

music shuffle

2007-12-20T19:05:00.000+08:00

Music shuffle

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you?
Out of thoughts- K ONE
(LOL? Maybe la... sometimes...)

Will I have a happy life?
Mama- My chemical romance
(=.= Does that means no? lol)

What do my friends really think of me?
Why not- Hillary Duff
(HUH?)

What do people secretly think of me?
Rolling star- Yui
(lol!)

How can I be happy?
Cancer- My chemical romance
(get cancer and be happy? zzz)

What should I do with my life?
Perhaps love- Goong
(I see...)

What is some good advice for me?
Shut up!- Simple plan
(=_____= WOW! zzz)

How will I be remembered?
Don't get it- K ONE
(errhhh...)

What is my signature dancing song?
Weeeek- NEWS
(YAY! NEWS's song! HAHA!)

What do I think my current theme song is?
From the inside out- Hillsong United
(yah... should be la...)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Far away- Nickelback
(Maybe?)

What song will play at my funeral?
Just give me a little try- Goong OST
(LOL?)

What type of men/women do you like?
You raise me up- Inori
(arhhh! I LOVE this song!! xD But it has nothing to do with the question... =.=)

What is my day going to be like?
My love my dear- Yi Da
(huh?)

Will I get far in life?
Thank you- Simple plan
(O.o)

Where will I get married?
Right here waiting- Richard Marx
(right here waiting? right here?? I dun want! lol)

What is my best friend's theme song?
街头霸王- Tank
(LOL!!! HAHA!)

What is the story of my life?
Life is like a boat- Bleach 1st opening
(BOAT huh? nice song!! xD nice depiction for my life! LOL)

What is/was high school like?
Let's battle- JJ lin
(HAHA! LOL! yah... sometimes...)

How can i get ahead in life?
Nippon- NEWS
(fly away, faraway~~ NICE SONG!! sang by the old 9 members!! xD)

What is the best thing about me?
Awakening- JJlin
(o.O)

What is in store for this weekend?
离开地球表面- Mayday
(LOL? am i dying or flying??)

What song describes my parents?
The first time- Lil Corey
(Nice song~~ But can't use it to describle them =D)

My grandparents?
One- simple plan
(Is it saying they are unique? lol! This song totally don't fit)

How is my life going?
Welcome to my life- Simple plan
(yaah... Sometimes...)

Will I have a happy life?
Never say goodbye- Mario and Nesty
(Nice song... So it will be a happy life according to the lyrics? lol)

Do people secretly lust after me?
Untitled- Simple plan
(untitled! nice song again~)

Will I ever have children?
Promise- Simple plan
(huh??)

What do I really want from life?
The sharpest life- My chemical romance
(LOL? MASOCHISM??)

What should I do to help others?
Whatsername- Green day
(???)

What should I do to help myself?
Seasons- Ayumi (She's pro!)
(I want seasons!! =( But I don't think it can help me much haha!)

What should I do to succeed in life?
Volare- Vitamin C
(Fly? [again?] maybe! haha! I shall stop walking then)

What is my one most important goal in life?
Kiss Kaerimichi no love song- Tegomass
(Nice song by tegoshi and Massu! xD LOL!)

What do I get the most pleasure from?
American idiot- Green day
(Not really... )

Kurosagi MOVIE 2008!! =D

2007-12-17T21:51:00.000+08:00

Waaah!! Kurosagi movie trailers are OUT!! YEAH!! =D
yamapi yamapi yamapi! lol!
Yamashita Tomohisa's first MOVIE!! YAAA!!

I don't think it will be out in Singapore... (unless it's a movie with big stars like HERO... although yamapi is already really famous... but.... haiz... I still don't think they would show it...)
cuz they didn't even show all those really famous and popular anime movies... zzzz
How i wish I can fly to japan and watch!! xD But I won't understand the whole thing cuz most of the time the movie is not subbed...

Therefore, I have to wait for the DVDs to be released and wait for the subbers in Japan to sub it... =((
Think that's gonna be quite a loong wait... Cuz they haven even sub naruto shippuuden movie yet!! =(
Oh! and Galileo ep.9 subbed version is still not out yet... =(
haiz... these are the shortcoming of not knowing Japanese... =(

OMG OMG!! WAAAAHH!! THERE'S A PART WHERE YAMAPI EVEN dressed up as Captain Jack sparrow from pirates of the carribean!!! *faints*

YEAH!! SWINDLE SWINDLE SWINDLE!!! WAHAHAHA!
P.S KUROSAGI'S PAST IS SOOOO SAD... =(
HE SWINDLES IN ORDER TO TAKE REVENGE ON A SWINDLER WHO "INDIRECTLY" KILLED HIS WHOLE FAMILY WHEN HE WAS YOUNG... =(
the drama totally rocked!! LOL

The trailers!!! ... xD

2007-12-08T18:28:00.000+08:00

In another half an hour's time i'm going to finish all of Bleach manga chapters that's published le!
xD (Until chapter 303)

I was readng the manga like crazy these few days... lol
and Kuchiki Byakuya is so mean towards the poor Arrancar... saying that they don't stand on equal ground and bla bla... and why can't Rukia just die??? zzz
haha! I'm realising that I'm liking all those "bad" characters in naruto and bleach these days... xD
cuz I feel that Akatsuki members are sooo cute in personality (except for Pein... dunno what on earth happened to him after jiraiya left)!!
haha! and Itachi seems so poor thing to have her younger brother come and take revenge on him.. =(
Orochimaru & Kabuto also very poor thing...
and it's all because of that Sasuke... zzz

kk... back to reading manga! palapala bye bye! =D

2007-12-08T13:29:00.000+08:00

you're unknowingly just pushing everyone away...
and all that's left in the end, will be pure loneliness...

=____=

2007-12-04T20:33:00.000+08:00

OMG... I'm like SOOOO NOT gonna watch the Yukan club drama!! zzz
the manga should be waaayyy better than the drama!!
(p.s. therefore now I wish sincerely they would NEVER make a drama for Ouran high school host club... cuz I don't want it's image to be ruined... =.=)

The main reason i don't want to watch it is because it's soo fake and ridiculous and out of this world and it just seem like nothing... somemore Jin is the main character which makes me detest the show even more...

BUT... Koyama is going to have guest appearance in 6th episode!! arhh!!!! But I don't want to watch!! But I want to watch Koyama acting!!
But i don't want to watch the series! cuz I don't want to suddenly jump into the middle of an ongoing drama and only watch that episode...
But I want to see and watch Koyama!!!!
But I don't want to watch Yukan club!!
But I want to see Koyama acting!!
arghhhhhh!!!!!!
Forget it...
I shan't watch cuz I don't want to see jin...
BTW, Yukan club is very similar to Ouran...
So by watching Yukan club drama, it spoils the image of ouran i had...
Aiya!!

Anyway, now I'm starting to watch mystery/ crime/ detective shows ONCE AGAIN!
HAHA! Cuz just found some really nice once coincidentally yesterday! and I found a drama called 'remote'.. It was super super nice!!! xD
and I didn't manage to finish it within one night!! I was left with about 30min towards the ending when my father asked me to shut the com =.=
So I was left there thinking about it the whole night!!!
cuz I stopped at a cliff hanger =_________=
That's the worst thing that could happen...
So I didn't sleep well...
The ending was yet another one which is uncertain =(
But it was really really nice!! xD
well... Now I'm going to/ watching
1. Galileo
2. Jikou Keisatsu
3. Ayatsuri Sa (anime)
All of them are detective shows!! =D
I heard that 'mop maid' is also quite nice... maybe will watch after i finish all the detective ones...
xD

Naruto craze

2007-12-02T14:02:00.000+08:00

I'm at Naruto manga chapter 348 currently and I'm like so frigging hate that Sasuke now!!
OMG... He betrayed Orochimaru and said those awful things to him and took over Orochimaru!!
arhhh... Poor orochimaru...
Although he's a bad guy, that Sasuke is worse off!!!!! argh!!
revenge revenge revenge...
only know about revenge!
No life!!
& i still detest Sakura...
She ain't got any life too!
only know about sasuke sasuke sasuke-kun!! Even if it's already Shippuuden series...
Then Naruto is like so poor thing and thoughtless too!!!
Why on earth must he go and save that Sasuke crap!! Sai can replace Sasuke in a much better way!!

Arghhh...
Kay back to reading the manga...
I think I will read finish all that's published by tonight!
xD
Then followed by going on to reading Bleach!
heehee...

tired tired TIRED!!

2007-11-30T00:32:00.000+08:00

ahhh.. it's 12.33am now...
zzz
and I'm feeling so tired!
Cuz just now I swam for 1hour+ (although most of the time was just slacking xD.. lol), jogged/ran 2.4km then went for sauna...
So that's explains why...
There's still band tomorrow from 9am to 4pm...
haiz...
and later after reading Bleach manga, I'm going to read an interview on NEWS (the band which Yamapi is the leader)... and that Radio interview translated to english is 15 pages long with font size 8!! zzzzz
But I think it's worth reading anyway... and I just printed out all of them cuz I hate reading it on computer... strains the eye (although i watch anime the whole day on com... haha! But it a different thing ^^)..

I'm going to read Bleach manga le!! Bye!!
p.s YAY!!! NARUTO SHIPPUUDEN EP. 36 & 37 subbed version is gonna come out tomorrow!!
That's something to look forward to at least...

Good night!! =D

Anyway, adding on one more thing =D

You Are: 40% Dog, 60% Cat

You and cats have a lot in common.

You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude.

However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

Movies! xD

2007-11-28T23:23:00.000+08:00

Hello!! Good night!!
Hee... Went out to watch movie today AGAIN!!
WAAH...
Watch FIVE movies already!!
I watched...

1. Stardust (with Jia Man)

2. The Game Plan (with Yulu)

3. Bratz (By myself cuz i was waiting for Jiaman so nothing to do)

4. Enchanted ( With Yu her cuz I was too bored after band yesterday and asked him to watch with me since he's also very free? lol)

5. Fred Claus ( With Ximeng today!)

xD
Spent so much money on movies these days! =(
Going out tomorrow again! wee~

Back to watching naruto movie 3 now!!
Bye! =D

P.s.
Mrs Lee recommended me that Chocolate chocolate rumba cake from Spinelli is really great!!! haha! She said it's sinfully delicious!! Shall try it out someday! xD

=D haha!! gaagaaa

2007-11-27T20:13:00.000+08:00

I reached home at 7.30pm today!! although band ended at 1pm!

Ahh.. so tired nowww...

Went to watch movie (Enchanted) with Yu her...

Haiz... After watching it, I still felt that the princess should end up with the prince as it was originally planned... Cuz the prince left like that very poor thing leh...

Ya.. although he still managed to find his 'soulmate' in the end, I still don't feel that they're compatible...

haiz...

Nvm bout that...

I watched final fantasy VII advent children yesterday out of boredom...

and I felt that Hero from DBSK aka TVXQ aka DBSG... whatever..

really looks like Cloud!! lol!

Maybe it's just their hair colour ba... If not looking at the hair colour, Yuu shirota looks more like Cloud!! xD right?? haha!

Well talking about Shirota, must also mention Hongo kanata who's gonna be in the film 'silk', which is coming out soon, with Keiren Knightly!! How fortunate of him!! He's just 17 and he's been in sooooo many films & most of them show the super cool and cool and more cool side of him!!
[This is Hongo Kanata in Nana 2 movie]

So cute right??!! kaka

He look the coolest in Pince of tennis live action!! xD

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's talk about anime now...

kaka.. kee kee...

Just finished watching wallflower (remcommended by Chang Jia Man)!!!! aka perfect girl evolution aka Yamatonadeshiko Shichi henge aka Sunako of Many Forms and many many aka(s)...

Some said they are going to produce season 2!! while others said it's the end le!!

=((

But I think there will be season 2 la...

Arhh!! it's sooo nice!! Must watch!!!
haha!! Sunako looks like Sadako!! (Said by Jia Man on Saturday when we went out together.. cuz she read the manga) lol!

p.s Sadako is the girl with super long fringe, who obviously got chased out of school due to outlandish hairstlye, from the movie/ novel, Ring.

Well at last I uploaded a female star's photo... lol?? Erm... maybe I chose the wrong female star... Cuz wiki says Sadako is intersexual... *shivers...

Even just uploading her pic up here sends chills down my spine... brrr Aiya her history quite interesting and twisted la so i went to read up on her yesterday at night... and I felt soo scared! Goshhhhh... I think the first time i watch Ring was when I was Pri 2... at my neighbour's house.. haha! It's so scary!! gwa gwa...

Anyway, I'm so out of topic now... haha!

So bored during holidays!!

Parents banned me from going overseas!! kaaaa!! grrr!! hmph!!

K... I shall stop typing at this very moment.

Hello! =D

2007-11-27T00:32:00.000+08:00

Finally I changed my blogskin!! =D
I know the tagboard is ugly... zzz... Lazy to make it nice...
Love Ouran high school host club!!
I just signed the petition for 2nd season of anime a few hours ago...

It's really a very nice nice anime!! xD
Still remember honey? lol
I was so crazy over him a few months ago...
Cuz he's soooo cute!! xD

I was so put off just now!!
Cuz i quarrelled with my dear parents again...
Haiz... mum is soo... zzz
She changes her mind so damn quick!!!
and Dad is sooo stubborn!!!!
...

But now I'm feeling quite ok le la...
At least they have stopped talking to and reprimanding me...
*phew...

It's already 12.38am!!
And I have to wake up early for band tomorrow!!
zzz

I gtg and listen to radio now!! haha!
Will update tomorrow on super shuai johnny's boys!! xD
& OF COURSE!!! I willl write about Hongo Kanata!! haha!!
But yamapi is still as hot as ever!!
tsk tsk
Bye!
Oyasimi!
=D

very sad now................

2007-11-14T13:42:00.000+08:00

........

I just found out that it's almost certainly true that Yamapi has a girlfriend!!
D=
She's
Yuu Abiru (阿比留优)=(
She's so unpopular now can????? I mean she's notorious now!!

Cuz she confessed that she theft before and she's so hua xin!!!!!!!

*sob

So her relationship with yamapi very 不被看好。。。

Since yamapi is soooooo popular!

='(

Abiru is somemore frequently voted as one of the most-unpopular/detested-female-star!!!

kwakwakwa............................

Now sooooo many girls hate her worldwide!!!! cuz of her relationship with Yamapi and what she did in the past........

Read so many sources already... they're all in chinese no wonder last time when i googled in english not much things came out... zzzzz

Abiru still said that she wants to get married!! (with yamapi of course)

=(((

this is what i found in baidu!! =((

近日在日本娱乐圈绯闻沸沸扬扬的人气偶像山下智久与女友阿比留优，又传出了新的热点消息。在昨日7月25号阿比留优参演的综艺节目中，她全面的讲述了自己现在的恋爱与感情状况，透露山下非常渴望结婚，并希望早日与她组建家庭。

在当日播放的这个综艺节目[Gutang Nubo]中，阿比留优与主持江角真纪子相互探讨恋爱感情。阿比留优在谈论现在的感情状况时表示，自己已经有在恋爱，而且相当的顺利。谈到结婚期望的时候，她则表示自己很喜欢孩子，所以很想早日结婚，然而现在还不是时候，所以只能等待。也同时透露男友也很有结婚的希望。

说到平日的约会，她就表示两人会很普通的外出约会，或者在家中为男友做饭吃。在整个节目中，阿比留优都满脸幸福，可见她与山下之间的感情非常稳定。

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BAD DAY! ZZZ

=D Live life happily!

2007-11-07T22:14:00.000+08:00

I have so many things to write on the past 2 years I've been in RV! I shall go point by point! =)

1. My family

Haha! Family goes first! =)
Well for the past 2 years I admit that I had not been a really nice daughter.
Sometimes I feel my parents are irritating and not being able to understand what i really feel. But they have always played their role as really caring and nice parents by trying to care at least...

Comparing them to other parents I had seen, they are quite a treasure to find! haha!
But parents cannot be used for comparing neither are children meant for that purpose!
Somehow we just like to compare what we already possess with what others have...
The grass is always greener on the other side because it's full of shit.
=D

I didn't really appreciate my cousin's presence either...
I didn't really like him at first cuz I feel that my parents and aunt are biased towards him..
& there was once when I saw a huge cockroach and he just neglected my fear and ask me to kill it myself ='(
I cried like hell after that... then started to hate him...
Some time after that incident, I found out from my mum that he's scared of roached too... haha!
But everytime when I needed his help in certain stuff, he would never decline...
=D
He's a good cousin to have but maybe I just don't know how to appreciate it yet ba...

2. My friends

Shall talk about 2F first...
Last year when I first stepped into the 2F classroom, I still remember that Alfreda and Brenda helped me with the chairs and tables then they gave me a place to sit cuz I only joined RV one week after school started which meant that I missed the orientation and stuff like that.
Therefore, I was really scared... But I slowly found out about the fact that 2F was a very warm and friendly class! So from strangers, we developed friendships!

Just yesterday I found out that I changed quite alot this year... I mean the later half of this year... I finally found out the reason! =)
It was because at the later half of this year I lost trust in myself and the friends around me...
just somehow it happened... It was because I started to doubt others... That's why...

Well 2F have been through so much together & we really liked each other although sometimes that's not the case...
But we still help each other through difficult times and such...
=D
ILOVE2F!!

I love the friends(who are not in the same sch as me) too!! =D
Although some of our friendships might have faded a little over time...

3. The school

HAHA! The school! Most of the time I feel RV is damn crap & it sucks at the same time...
BECAUSE I feel that many things I learn is not really organised and I can't find meaning in them... They are so different from what other schools teach and such... But anyway... since I already am in RV then I have to live with it... But RV offers really wonderful times too! maybe that's the only thing I enjoy...

I'm sort of scared about next year's class...... I wonder who would be in the same class as me......
=)

4. Academics

Well this year my result is sure crappy... cuz I didn't really study... All of the tests were revised the night before... haha!
well no point brooding over it...
zzz
I have already the spirit to study cuz i can't find any meaning in what I'm suppose to study anymore... argh... I feel life is so crap now... seriously... why are we doing the things we are doing now? Cuz it's compulsory... zzzz

5. Belief

I have sort of lost faith in God often this year too...
sorry...
My believes were not as firm any longer...
I shall search back what I have lost! =D
& be a happy child of God!

6. Yamapi (lol)

Well I sort of regret having to know who is Yamapi leh!!
Cuz I'm tooooo obssessed in him already...
zzz
If only I didn't click on the nobuta wo produce video button.
If only I didn't start to watch nobuta wo produce after clicking on it.
If only I didn't continue watching it after starting to watch it.
If only I didn't bother to go search on Yamapi after watching Nobuta Wo Produce.
If only I didn't watch Kurosagi after I found out he filmed in Kurosagi.
Then I wouldn't be what am i now...
haha!

He's too cute and pretty! lol

Anyway I have already regretted on alot of things this year...
But I shan't think about them now cuz it's pointless anyway...
well... This shall be the end of the entry le =)
I still wanted to write alot more but I think I should just write this much...
Good night!
=D

2007-11-02T18:40:00.001+08:00

Good evening!!!!
haha!
I can't wait till next year's fall!!!
There will be THREE GREAT JAPANESE MOVIES COMING UP!!! ARHH!!
BUT I STILL HAVE TO WAIT ONE WHOLE YEAR...
HAIZ...

The 3 JAPANESE MOVIES I'M WAITING ARE:
1. L Change the WorLd
[This movie is not going to come out so late in fall la... They said it will come out in the first half of the year... Looking forward!]

2. Kurosagi
[This movie is confirmed gonna come out in fall or maybe in winter ba...
Yamapi!!! xD So looking forward to it neh!!]

3. Hana Yori Dango (final)
[I think they only started to film a bit of the movie ba.. since the actors are like so busy this year... Maybe it's going to come out in winter next year... Wonder what would be the plot for the movie neh!! xD]

BTW, there's another movie I'm looking forward to... which is Bleach movie 2!! haha!
now I'm zhui-ing bleach le!! or should I stop watching bleach for about half a year then continue to watch the ones I had missed after that half a year leh??!!
argh!!! There are so many nice films and animes!!! I think i'm starting to watch Naruto too!! xD

2007-11-01T19:05:00.000+08:00

Argh! I'm so so soooo tired!!
Lack of sleep!
cuz of Bleach!!! haha! It's so nice...
But now I find Inoue quite dumb leh... and I don't really pity her anymore! haha!
Now I watch the anime till episode #146 le!!
I'm reading the manga now!!
xD

Oh... and after I got back home from school today I was locked outside my house!!
%*@:-(
cuz I forgot to bring my keys and no one's at home! So I waited for one whole hour for my father to come back and unlock the door for me... gaaah

I had green tea ice-cream today! yay!
The bitter bitter taste is soo nice! =D
It's the best green tea ice-cream I have ever eaten!!
haha! But i dunno what's the name of the shop I bought it from leh...
I've eaten sooo many green tea ice-creams and so far today's is the best!
I don't like those green tea ice-creams without the bitter bitter taste... cuz it's totally not nice and really yucky and expensive!! zzzz

Holiday holiday holiday
go out go out go out
Bye bye Bye bye!
p.s Gaaaahhhhh Byakuya is sooo cute! & he's got so damn many fan clubs!! waaaahhh! Although he's just a fictional character from Bleach... haha!
BTW... Why don't they film a dorama on Ouran High School club????!!!!!!!

25 million years later... ...

A very looooong dream.

本音

lost.

I shall forever be calm, composed and cool!

Another Mr. A

Repenting... ?

Gomen!!

My conscience is unclear.

Kyou no jibun ga kirai da

Why don't you want my help...

I am gonna be so busy again... :X

Contention

How to save a sunken soul

I AM SO TOUCHED!

Oh how I hate going to Jurong.

WOOHOO

I am so secretly happy about sth xD that's gonna happen...

You sound like some psycho.

So what's my motive?

Jealousss

Clarke Quay is like my new wonderland

I AM SO BORED!!

My two hundred and one post

EYE

Heyheyhey

Curiosity kills the cat.

:D:D:D

I lack something

Sometimes, I feel like...

Crash and burn

Sickest joke ever...

busybusybusy

Words

lies and layering

Paranoia and obsession

It will never happen again. And I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

no more...?

The letter which I will never open... Till I'm ready.

So through.

Problem

one hour of epic pain.

Random thoughts

Oops. I haven't been to school for so many days

FML.

你可以不要再这么幼稚吗？

March holiday

No. It no longer affect me.

I XXXX YOU

君 を殺したい

soft in the head

Some (overdue) stuff...

I think you are crazy. maybe so am I ;)

even though i know i really have to.

kimi dare ga koroshitai?

你都不懂。

ne! atashi no koto suki?

koroshitai

dakara nanni?

ano hito koroshitai

ewww... no wonder -.-

*rolls eyes*

your love is so cheap.

Ideas

You are still :)

Falling in love with a mannequin

Blog revived!

wth -.-

hahaha!

It seems...

lalala

Yay! I'm moving house! =D

Revive!

Watch the video!!

This + that = imperfect life

Movie!!

Nodame Cantabile!!

Nodame Cantabile!!

Dozo!! XD

Arhh!

君を殺したい

rolls eyes